Confessions of an Ex-Drama Queen

I'm Back!

2010-06-02T11:05:00.003-04:00

I'm back!!! After two and a half months of hibernation from the Bloggers World, I'm finally back and feeling a lot better. My days of constant exhaustion, nausea and bionic nose are all behind me. I can eat heartily now (and by that I mean EAT HEARTILY like there's no tomorrow and with the perfect excuse of eating for two), walk around more and do more things around the house. I miss my pre-pregnancy body from time to time, especially now that it's pool season and I can't wear my favorite two-piece swimsuit looking like I swallowed a mini-watermelon! (Not that I didn't try, I did, but I just have to admit it's not a pretty sight. Even my puppy howled in disapproval). But ...I'll have my bundle of joy in four and a half months, and that's worth everything. Besides, I plan to get my body back after my baby's birth... even if I have to drag my ass to the gym everyday. (I know, I know, easier said than done...)

Anyhoo, the first three months of my pregnancy was definitely not easy. I was constantly nauseated and extremely exhausted. At some point, I think I might have told the husband that our kid better be a perfect child because it's the only one I'm having! I even ended up in hospital for three days because of pregnancy-induced kidney infection. I had 104 F fever, I was constanly vomiting and had an IV attached to me the whole time. In typical drama queen fashion, I also got depressed because I thought I was gonna lose the baby. Fortunately, (s)he continued to hang on strongly. Even now I can tell you, my baby loves its Mama! I swear, (s)he's a miracle baby! We conceived him/her naturally when the doctor thought we couldn't and now (s)he survived this ordeal! I just hope it won't come out all drugged out since I have to continue taking antibiotics until (s)he's born to avoid the infection from coming back.

But all's well that ends well. Here I am, four and a half months pregnant, happy, strong and so anxious to see my baby. We'll know the gender in two weeks and I simply can't wait!

P.S. Thanks for all my blog friends who continued to hang on and never left my blog. Special thanks to Liv Bambola for sending me the post card and the baby toy all the way from Australia! You are all wonderful!!!

Leave of Absence

2010-03-24T08:19:00.003-04:00

I have to take a temporary leave of absence from the Bloggers World. This pregnancy is taking a toll on me. I'm nauseated and tired all the time, and I feel as though my brain is being drained of its creativity juices. The teeny, tiny amount of brain function left in me, I have to devote to my job... since I've just been promoted to Chemist III!!! But honestly, even the thrill of being promoted, or the excitement of renewing my vows and visiting Grand Canyon in two weeks had been sucked out of me. I can't wait for the first trimester to be over. I want my energy and my mind back!

Anyway, I'll be back, I promise. So please hang in there. In the meantime, I'm sending my love to all of you!!!

The Wedding

2010-03-17T20:21:00.005-04:00

Exactly a year ago today, I woke up with all the excitement of a woman about to marry the love of her life.

Never mind that it was a preliminary courthouse wedding and it was just the two of us, it was the day we'd vow to spend our lives together and love each other forever. I was a quivering mass of happiness and enthusiasm.

That is... until we had thirty minutes to spare before the wedding, and my vain husband-to-be was still putting gel in his hair! I finished taking a shower, putting on my wedding dress, and doing my hair and make-up all in the span of 40 minutes, while he had been in the bathroom for almost an hour doing God knows what, and still wasn't finished!

Naturally, I began to feel antsy, and started to nag him to hurry up. Although the courthouse was only fifteen minutes away from our place, I wanted to get there a few minutes ahead of time. Having been raised by an uber-punctual dad who drags us to parties and events an hour before the specified time (much to our and the host's consternation), I have learned to be always a few minutes early. You know, in case of unforseen situations! My husband-to-be on the other hand, except for our first few dates when he was still trying to lure me in, and for baseball games where we have club seats with all-you-can-eat-buffet, had rarely been ahead or on time.

Apparently, even for his own wedding.

After 10 minutes of my nagging and prodding, he finally came out of the bathroom looking... admittedly, oh-so-gorgeous, it was almost worth the wait (almost, being the operative word)! But given the current state of mood I was in, I'd be damned if I admit it loudly, so naturally, I kept my mouth shut. We got to the courthouse 15 minutes later, but just as I have dreaded... an unforseen situation! There was no available parking space close by! We had to park half a mile away and walk back to the courthouse. Mind you, it was almost time for the ceremony, the temperature was close to freezing, I was wearing a short, white dress paired with a 2-inch high heeled sandals... and now he tells me I have to walk??!! With every "Relax, we're gonna be fine" that the guy utters, I only get increasingly madder.

We got to the courthouse five minutes late, but to another wedding still ongoing. This naturally, resulted to him giving a victorious smile that basically says I told you so.The usherette came to us and told us what a good-looking couple we were, which predictably, resulted to yet another victorious smile from him.

When it was time for our wedding vows, all my irritation disappeared, replaced by an overflowing love for the man I was marrying. Sure, he's a guy who spends a ridiculous amount of time perfecting every strand of his hair, obsesses in getting every cabinet in the house perfectly organized, drags me to far too many family reunions than I care for, but he's also a man who lovingly takes care of me when I'm sick, who spends several hours trying to find my perfect birthday gift, and who calls me every single day to tell me how much he loves me.

Sometimes, I still can't believe it's been a year, and I'm still very much in love and happy. It's definitely not easy, with all the challenges we had to go through, but I wouldn't wanna change anything given the chance. I love this man with all my heart and there's nobody in this world I'd rather be with than him.

Happy anniversary, Honey!!! Looking forward to our second wedding ceremony in two weeks (where... more importantly, I'd finally get to wear my wedding dress)!

Is October Over Yet?

2010-03-15T13:04:00.003-04:00

Remember the post I wrote last week about pregnancy experience as the greatest thing ever? Well... forget it, I'm taking it back!

Here's why...

1. I have to pinch my arm countless of times to keep myself awake during work hours, and then when I get home, all I wanna do is crawl into bed and take a nap.
2. I have to force feed myself everyday because I need to digest something for the baby growing inside of me, but everything taste metallic and bitter.
3. I have to stay away from my poor puppy because his smell makes me wanna puke.
4. I have to stay away from the Hubby (or at least order him to stop wearing any cologne or body spray) because cologne makes me nauseous.
5. My boobs are so sore I can't sleep in my favorite position.
6. I get up every hour to go to the bathroom.
7. I haven't gotten laid in almost a month, and probably won't for three more weeks, until we know for sure that the baby's okay.
8. I'm too hormonal (self explanatory).
9. And the birthing process that I have to go through?... let's not even go there for now.

Honestly God, where did you get the idea that women are the one who's supposed to carry babies? Isn't our emotional instability enough indication?

PS. But God, I'm only kidding! I'd willingly go through this a hundred times for the chance to have a child!

Stress Queen

2010-03-11T08:59:00.003-05:00

My heart is bleeding right now.

A couple of weeks after I was jumping with joy over the greatest realization that I was pregnant, I was greeted by the news that my cousin's baby died in his wife's womb. The wife was 5 and a half months pregnant when her water broke, forcing her into early delivery. The sad part was that if the incident only happened two weeks later, the baby would have had the chance to survive. As it was, she (aptly named Angelica) didn't stand a chance.

What's even sadder is that I knew how much they wanted that baby. They've been trying for almost 7 years, the last of which were spent in fertility clinics going through IUI's and fertility drugs. They've spent thousands of dollars just to have her! But now, here they are, buying a casket instead of a crib, preparing for a funeral instead of a nursery. My heart bleeds so much for them. I can just imagine the pain and heartache they're going through.

And as someone who's such a Stress Queen (who stresses about being stressed), this predictably had set me into a state of fear. Slight abdominal cramp (possibly imagined) and I start to panic, driving my husband into the brink of utter frustration. The other night I even dreamt that I had a miscarriage, and woke up in the middle of the night crying like a lunatic!I swear off pregnancy books for now, because, my goodness, all they do is stress the heck out of me! Ectopic pregnancy, molar pregnancy, miscarriages... I can definitely live without those thoughts right now.

So instead, here's to happy thoughts... like renewal of vows, endless buffets, Grand Canyon tour, Las Vegas shows, and poolside fun ... all in just a matter of three weeks!!!

The Ticket to Laziness, Moodiness and Brattiness

2010-03-08T14:44:00.002-05:00

Being pregnant is awesome! I kid you not, it's the greatest thing ever! It's your license to get out of things you don't wanna get into, and to get the things you wanted to get, but normally wouldn't. In short, it's your ticket to laziness, moodiness and brattiness. All legit and perfectly excusable... because your pregnant!

I don't feel like cooking tonight, Honey, I'm too tired!... 'No problem, Babe. Just sit back and relax.'
I can't clean the house, the vacuum is too heavy!.. 'Don't worry, I'll do it.'
Can you grab me a piece of cake in the fridge? I'm craving for one... 'Okay, Honey.'
Don't argue with me, I'm pregnant!... 'Fine, I'm keeping my mouth shut.'
I think you should get me that diamond necklace, I'm carrying your baby!... 'Sure, which one?'

Being pregnant is wonderful... exhaustion, sore boobs and countless trips to the bathroom aside.

The Power of a Pink Line

2010-03-05T08:06:00.000-05:00

Let me tell you something.

Patience is not one of my virtues.

I've been literally trying to hold myself back from spilling the news since the day I found out - for fear that it's all a dream or just a false alarm,- that I sometimes feel like my head's going to explode from all the contained excitement. Well... I decided that before I gross either my neighbors or my co-workers out with scattered brain tissues, I might as well spill the beans!

Drum roll please....

I'm 6 weeks pregnant!!! Yes, you heard it right! P-R-E-G-N-A-N-T, pregnant!!! And the most wonderful thing is, Hubby and I did it without the expensive help of science! Just the tried and tested, old-fashioned baby-making technique!

As some you already knew, we had been trying to conceive since Month Two of our married life. However, after seven months of amazing sex with no luck, we finally went to a doctor who performed ridiculously ASSpensive tests, and told us we have infertility issues and that the only way we'll conceive is through the help of science! This naturally resulted to me crying at every diaper commercials, and becoming painfully aware of how many pregnant Moms there are in every grocery stores or how many crying babies there are in churches during the few occasions that I go.

But whatever. If there's one thing about me, it's that I never give up. Especially if it's something I really wanted. So I wrote a complete and detailed list of all our options... from Plan A to Plan D.

Fortunately, before we even get to the money-draining Plan B, the undoubtedly enjoyable (except for the occasional times when I or Hubs wasn't in the mood and it starts to feel more like work) and natural Plan A worked!

Predictably, I've been on cloud nine since the day that precious pink line showed up in all three of my pregnancy tests. (I just have to be completely sure!) There are times when I still find it so hard to believe. I keep expecting myself to wake up and realize it's all a dream. I've been so used to disappointments, month after month, that my happiness is sometimes still tinged with fear. I know the next couple of months are crucial, as miscarriages are more prevalent on the first trimester, but I have faith. If before I don't believe in miracles, I definitely do now. This is our miracle! God answered our prayers and I can only hope that He continues to do so, and give us a strong, healthy, smart and beautiful baby. Boy or girl... I don't care.

Caught Between a Rock and a Hard Place

2010-03-03T08:00:00.003-05:00

I'm a die-hard 'Friends' fanatic. My love for that show is parallel to my love for shopping, watermelon and all things beach-related. I watch the re-runs on TV everytime they're on (which is like, everyday!), even though I own the complete DVD series. (Talk about obsessed!)

But that's not the point of this post.

The point is that, last night, I watched an episode of Friends where Rachel's a-hole but ravishingly yummy, Italian boyfriend made a pass at Phoebe, while she was trying to give him a body massage. This resulted to Phoebe having the obvious dilemna of whether to tell Rachel or not. In the end, she did, Rachel believed her and broke up with her boyfriend, and everything went well.

This of course, brought me to memory lane and reminded me of a kinda similar scenario that happened back in my graduate school days. I say kinda, because the guy didn't make a pass at me (thank God, or I'd be serving jailtime for punching him in the face!), but cheated on a friend of mine with a questionably hot woman... and I caught him! And also because, my life - despite all my prayers and wishful thinking, isn't a TV show or a fairy tale, and that unlike Rachel and Phoebe, things didn't go well between me and my friend after I told her!

Instead, like a true one-lab-accident-from-being-a-supervillain that she turned out to be, she accused me of lying and being jealous because at that time, she's got a boyfriend and I didn't. (Oh women, why are we so complicated?) She completely cut me off from her life and continued dating the guy. But as far as I knew, it only lasted for another month or so, because the next thing I've heard, they've broken up. I can only assume that she found out for herself what a douchebag he really was.

I thought after their break-up, she'd be on her knees begging for forgiveness and telling me that I'm the greatest friend to ever roam planet Earth. No such luck! For a while, I missed her and wondered if I made the right decision, but then thought... wait a minute, if she were my true friend, she would have trusted me and believed that I only had the best intentions!

So, in my early-twenties Drama Queen fashion, I said... Eff it! She can stick our friendship up her royal butt!

What would you do if you we're in my shoes? Would you tell your friend or just let her find out for herself?

For the Sake of Fashion

2010-03-01T15:37:00.005-05:00

The Hubby and I had been walking at the mall for two hours the other day, when I started whining.

"I gotta rest. My feet are killing me."

He looked at my 2 1/2-inch high-heeled boots and said, "Why did you wear those shoes? You knew we were gonna go shopping!"

Oh crap, the guy's got a point! Too bad my brain wasn't functioning when I was getting ready to head out of the door! But... like a typical wife, I'd be darned if I admit that I was wrong, and that he was, for once in his life, right about something. So instead, I gave him the most brilliant explanation I can come up with.

"Honey, these boots make me look taller and walk sexier. Sometimes, you just gotta sacrifice comfort for the sake of fashion!"

And with that, tried to walk as sexily as I can with a slight limp in my gait.

Of Wedding Dresses and Losing Weight

2010-02-26T09:24:00.008-05:00

I think I might have to stop donating to the gym and start using it for real.

Allow me to explain.

A year and a half ago, or two months after my then-boyfriend (and now-husband) finally realized he couldn't live without me and asked me to marry him, I went to David's Bridal with my sister with the sole intention of just-to-look. We came to the door, and were greeted by a saleswoman who's got a very strong persuasive power she'd probably convince Rush Limbaugh to become a Democrat. I told her what my intention was, and off she went to bring out dresses I could try on. I did, and one dress in particular caught my eye and sent my heart into a frenzy flutter. I knew right then and there it was the ONE. I just have to have it! It didn't matter that we haven't set a wedding date at that time. Between the saleslady's strong persuasive powers and my typical shopaholic's ability of turning just-to-look into i-gotta-buy, I knew my willpower's at the losing end. Well... I don't have to tell you how that battle played out.

Fast forward to the present.

I ended up just having a preliminary civil wedding, and since I didn't wanna look like a crazy, overdressed bride walking around the courthouse, I decided to wear a short, simpler dress. I figured I'll just wear the ONE when the right time comes.

Unfortunately, I didn't take into consideration what a year of marriage does to people... it makes you gain weight!

So yesterday, I was trying on my size 2 wedding dress when I realized... que horror, I couldn't get into it!!! This naturally resulted to me screaming for Hubby at the top of my lungs he thought I cut off my arm or something. With his help and some belly-tucking and breath-holding, I finally got into my dress. It still fits, although obviously... just barely.

So now, here I am, onto my 35-day mission of losing at least five pounds before our vow renewal ceremony. I'm starting tomorrow. Let's see how long will I last. If you haven't guessed yet, I'm not a fitness buff, but right now, I've got the motivation!

Needless to say, my husband - the workout junkie, was so happy, he's thinking of renewing our wedding vows every year. You know... if that's what it takes to get me to the gym.

If You're a Mistress of a Man You Knew Is Married, Do You Deserve an Apology?

2010-02-24T08:39:00.007-05:00

I've had enough of this Tiger Woods drama, as I'm sure you are too. I wasn't actually planning on writing anything about the whole saga, because frankly, I think his personal life is supposed to be that... personal and private. I think we should just care about what he does in the golf course and nothing else. But the latest development had me boiling to the core that I just felt a terrible need to talk about it. (This would be my first and last post about this, I promise!)

The thing is, his alleged mistress is demanding a public apology from him. When I heard this, my intial reaction was... What? Say that again? She wants an apology, like she deserves one? Her Hollywood lawyer (Gloria Allred) explained that he should, because he pursued her, lied to her, told her she's the only one, blah, blah, blah.

Now, wait a minute, you sad, pathetic woman! Don't tell me she doesn't know that Tiger Woods have a wife and children! It's only all over the news since they got married! Unless she's making porn movies cooped up in a shack in Timbuktu, there's no way in hell she doesn't know he's married. Why don't the two of you just tell us honestly what you really hope to gain by doing this?

Now, don't get me wrong. I'm not on Tiger Woods' side either. Frankly, I think he's a douchebag for cheating on his wife. I've been cheated on before and the experience left me with such a bitter taste, that my resulting hatred for cheaters continue to run through my veins. The pain of heartache coupled with the pain of betrayal was too much to handle that I almost had a breakdown. I had moved on since then, but I can't say, even after four long years, that I have completely forgiven the guy.

However, I also think that if you knowingly enter an affair with a married man/woman (or someone in a relationship), you're as guilty as the cheater. You're officially a homewrecker! I know sometimes it's hard to choose who to fall in love with, but you don't have to let your heart (or crotch) rule over your head. Your brain is on top of your body for that reason! If you do, then don't expect any sympathy. Especially if you're a woman like her who's probably not even in love with Tiger Woods, but only after his money and fame. Show some dignity, woman!

My dear friends, what's your take on this? Discuss.

For the Love of Dancing

2010-02-22T11:54:00.001-05:00

Last Saturday, after days of constant prodding and promises of nudity, I finally convinced the Hubby to take me dancing. The last time I've been to a dance club was when Justin Timberlake was still trying to bring the sexy back (which is like three years ago, when I was still in graduate school), and I just felt this terrible need to release my pent-up dance energy. Next to shopping and eating ice cream, I love, love, love dancing! Unfortunately, I married an old soul trapped in a hot, young body who doesn't. Well... at least, I was able to convince him to take me.

So off to the club we went.

A minute after we started dancing, I finally understood. The poor guy can't dance for the life of him! (This is a sort of thing I should have known during the wedding dance. Unfortunately we didn't have one). At some point, I think I might have laughed at the way he danced that he decided he has done his husbandly duty of pleasing me and just stood beside me watching me dance. And no amount of prodding and begging could make him dance again.

But I decided that nothing can ruin my night. Who knew when the Hubs will take me out again?

So I continued dancing around him, oblivious to anybody who might be watching.

And there I was, dancing happily and uninhibitedly, when my eyes came into contact with a guy who winked naughtily at me. All of a sudden, I realized how I must have looked like dancing sexily around a standing pole of a man! I looked around and sure enough, I gathered a few interested audience. Slightly embarrased, I told the Hubby to start dancing or else...

After that night, I came home with two realizations... (1) that it's better to take my girlfriends next time I go clubbing, and (2) that I might have discovered the perfect back-up job in case this Chemistry gig doesn't pan out.

I'm Married to a Smart Ass

2010-02-20T14:26:00.003-05:00

I told The Hubby last night that I wanna be a Product Manager or Techology Director in the future. My number of years pretending to listen to my boss (or any boss for that matter), and imagining giving him the finger when he's being a jerk, is almost close to its limit. I'm contemplating on pursuing an MBA to help me in my quest, or maybe applying for a Lab Manager position as my next step. I'm pretty much tired of being micromanaged most of the time.

My sweet, ever-supportive husband decided to encourage me.

"Sure Honey, I think you should go for it. If you need recommendation, I'll even give you one. I, for one, can definitely vouch that you're good at bossing people around!"

Olympic Fever

2010-02-18T12:11:00.004-05:00

I turned on the television to watch the Olympic Games the other day, and was greeted by the sight of two men - who I thought were part of the cleaning crew- sweeping the surface of an iced court. (Talk about clueless!). Okay, it was breaktime... or so I thought, until the crowd started cheering loudly. I focused my attention on the screen and paused...wait a minute... am I actually watching a game?!! Could it really be... that I'm watching an olympic sports?

Turned out, I really was. It's called curling!

I couldn't understand how it could be an event, but whatever, I decided to watch it long enough to get the hang of it. And soon enough, I did understand the basics... one guy has to slide a stone down the ice, towards the center of goal, while his two teammates help guide the stone using a broom or a brush or whatever its called.

To be honest with you, I spent the first 24 years of my life not caring a hoot about the Olympics. Or any sports for that matter. I grew up as a bookworm who was always buried in books and involved in academic competitions (I sound so boring as a kid, don't I?). But one fateful day, six years ago, I turned on the television and saw Michael Phelps's hot bod, swimming gracefully and oh-so-fast in the water, it was almost unbelievable! Soon enough, I found myself watching each and every one of his events. And then some. And before I knew it, I was hooked. On Michael Phelps and the Summer Olympics.

So now, here I am, venturing into the Winter Olympic World as well. Although definitely not with the same passionate enthusiasm! I do love figure skating, speed skating and snowboarding, but curling? Not a big fan. Oh well... maybe I should just really open my mind, and accept the fact that Olympics doesn't just revolve around half-naked and very hot men in swim trunks hurrying to get to the finish line, or gorgeous guys in shorts kicking the ball to score a goal!

Anyway, what's your favorite summer or winter olympic event? Anybody who's a big fan of curling? Maybe you can enlighten me more about the game.

The Domestic Wife

2010-02-17T08:09:00.004-05:00

Yesterday, since Cleveland was being hammered with snow again (like it's something new!), and the Hubby had a doctor's appointment that I had to tag along to, I decided to declare it my holiday and take the day off. I figured it would also be the perfect time to show him that I'm not just a sweet, smart and pretty wife (hey, this is my blog, I can say anything I want!), but a domestic one as well. I wanted him to think he married the perfect woman - moodiness and crankiness aside. You know... in exchange, for being an awesome husband and sending me a beautiful bouquet of flowers at my work!

So right after I woke up, I decided to clean the entire house. I took out the vacuum cleaner, the mop, and all the cleaning supplies. Halfway through vacuuming however, the darn machine decided to break down. With almost two-thirds of the house done, I opted to just move to the next task. Who peeks in corners and under the beds, anyway?

Next... cook a lovely dinner. There I was, sauteing chicken while uninhibitedly dancing to Rihanna's music, when my cellphone rang. It was a friend I invited to our upcoming vow renewal ceremony. And as we were getting carried away talking about the wedding plans, I realized.... wait a minute, I was cooking something! Well, I don't have to tell you how that lovely dinner turned out.

Finally, I decided to just wash the dishes from the other night. Because... that's just how domesticated I am. Just as I'm sure you had predicted, one of the drinking glasses broke, and cut my tiny finger! Blood started oozing out. Lots of it! Now, I have an aversion to blood and faint at the sight of too much of it, so this, naturally, triggered a big panic. But you'd be proud of me. Really proud. Because I bravely took out a gauze, and dressed my own wound! And did it with alternate closing of each eye! Everything went smoothly, until I realized I still have to take a shower so I can go to the doctor. I ran out of those vinyl gloves at home, so you can just imagine the pain I went through washing my hair with one hand.

In the end, I was just so glad that I have a husband who prepares his own lunch, washes his own clothes, clean the house and loves me for who I am. Domesticated or not.

My wonderful girlfriends, are you a domestic woman? And does your significant other care if you are? And for men, is being domesticated one of your criteria in choosing the woman to marry?

One Year

2010-02-15T10:36:00.015-05:00

Next month, March 17 to be exact, marks one year of my challenging, but utterly amazing married life.

To some of you who had been following my blog for quite some time now, you're already familiar with how our love story unfolded. But for those of you who are new, you can just always go back to the story of how we met, fell in love, got engaged and finally... got married.

And lived happily ever after. No problems, no conflicts, no worries. Just happiness...sheer happiness.

Yeah, right!

Who am I kidding? This is real life, people! Not some chick flick or a fairy tale.

However, I can definitely say that I'm mostly happy. Especially on days when the Hubby accepts the fact that yourstruly is always right. On days when he doesn't, well... that's a different story.

But kidding aside, my husband is an amazing guy. He's ravishingly hot, unbelievably smart, occasionally funny ;-), and completely sweet. And he loves me unconditionally... which is the best thing ever!

I'd be lying though, if I say that our life had been very easy. As I wrote in my post a few months ago, we've been dealing with some infertility issues. This, naturally, translates to emotional and financial stress. We were planning to have a small but elaborate beach wedding in the Philippines this year ( since we only had a courthouse wedding), but with our current situation, it's hard to make it happen. At least, not for the next couple of years. But, there's a but....

We're going to Las Vegas for our anniversary celebration, and renew our vows at Mt. Charleston in Nevada! Just as we met while hiking on a mini-mountain, we're also getting married on a mountain. Sounds wholly fitting, don't you think? We'll have my sister and seven of our closest friends as our guests, so there's no doubt that that weekend would be filled with love, booze and gambling fun. And thank God, I'd finally get to wear the wedding dress that I bought more than a year ago!

Needless to say, I'm already counting the days!

Flowers for Men?

2010-02-11T08:39:00.005-05:00

In light of it being Valentines Day (though not a big fan of the day), let me ask you this...

Ladies, would you ever consider sending flowers to a guy you're dating/married to?

Gents, would you feel comfortable receiving flowers from a woman?

The Proposal

2010-02-09T09:49:00.008-05:00

A wonderful friend of mine had been with her boyfriend for almost eight years... three of which were spent living together. Like any normal woman who's in love and is dreaming of having a fairy tale family (and also with a biological clock that's ticking), she's dying to have a ring on her finger.

The guy, however, has a different idea. He keeps coming up with excuses.

I'm not ready yet.

I'm not sure if I wanna have kids.

I don't think I have enough money to support a family.

My friend, the ever-patient saint, finally got fed up one day, and told him that if the relationship doesn't move forward in the next few months, she's hauling her tush out of the apartment.

A couple of weeks later, she came home to the sight of her boyfriend playing videogame in the living room. The guy looked up, acknowledged her presence and said...

"Hey babe, your ring is on the table. You said you wanted to get married."

And then went back to playing his stupid videogame.

I'm giving the guy an award. WORST PROPOSAL EVER.

My dear friends, what would you do if a guy proposed to you that way? Would you accept it? Have you ever heard of some horrible proposal stories? Do share.

Miss Independent

2010-02-07T10:36:00.007-05:00

Yesterday, I decided to assert my independence and stay at home by myself, while the Hubby visits his family in Michigan. I haven't had a Me Time in a while and I definitely miss Me. House all to myself, with no husband and no puppy to worry about? No complaints here!

I had the whole Saturday planned... wake up unusually late, lose myself in a bubble bath while reading 'I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell' (interesting book by Tucker Max, by the way), indulge in fattening foods, be a couch potato, and have dinner with some girl friends while talking about boys. Sounded like the perfect plan to me.

And sure enough, for half of the day, it was.

I was in heaven... pure, unadulterated heaven!

That is, until I started to leave the house, opened the garage door and saw 10 inches of freaking snow in the driveway!

But of course, being a Miss Independent, I told myself... no worries! I've lived without a man before. I can do anything a man can do! How hard could it be? I've changed my own lightbulbs, hang my pictures on the wall, assembled my new furnitures... shoveling snow shouldn't be any different!

Boy, was I ever wrong!

Fifteen minutes into shoveling snow, and I was freaking exhausted! Every inch of my body was screaming pain. Especially my lower back. If it weren't for my dying desire to hang out with my girlfriends, I would have locked myself inside and just stayed home the whole weekend. But I wanted to get out. Bad. For a while, I contemplated waiting for some sort of a miracle that would get my car out of the driveway. Like a sudden intense global warming to melt the ice on my side of the planet, or my white lighter husband unexpectedly orbing home to shovel the snow. But if my luck with raffle tickets or lotto is any indication, I knew such miracle would never happen to me. So while chanting,' You can do it Chloe, you're Miss independent' over and over, I finished shoveling half of the driveway. Yes, half! Just enough to let my car out. The Hubby can call me Lazy Butt anytime he wants, I don't care, he can do the rest when he gets back.

And fine, I concede! Screw independence! I definitely need a man.

If only for the purpose of shoveling snow.

I guess that explains why the Hubby still hasn't bought a snow blower.

Love is a Grave Mental Disease

2010-02-05T10:51:00.019-05:00

"Love is a grave mental disease." ~ Plato
So last night, one of my best friends called me up and tearfully asked me what should she do with a piece of garbage...okay, okay... a man, she was madly in love with.

I gave her the most brilliant suggestion I could come up with: knock on his door, kick him repeatedly with her 3-inch high-heeled shoe where it hurts the most, and show him that hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.

This pathetic excuse of a man calls her up, have sex with her, disappear for days, calls her up, have sex with her, disappear again, calls her up... get the drift?

Now you're probably wondering, why does she put up with it? Beats me! Although... she said she's in love with him, or something to that effect. Which is even more of a mystery to me. Granted, he does have a nice body, but... I just don't see the attraction in other departments!

Okay, I'd probably understand if she's a plump version of Cruella de Vil that the only guys she can attract are losers and a-holes, but... she's a beautiful woman! One of the prettiest women I've met, in fact. Good guys are lining up to worship the ground she walks on. But just like the rest of the love-crazed female population, she gravitates towards the I-drink-like-there's-no-tomorrow, party-like-crazy, have-an-ego-the-size-of-a-pregnant-blue-whale, come-chase-after-me type of guys. And to think she's got a Masters degree in Chemistry! You'd think she's smart, right? And she is... just not in the love department. Apparently.

But who am I to talk? Really! I was the woman who went gaga over a guy, and for almost a year of my young life, stood by him through his black-to-yellow-to-blue-to-blonde-to-black-again hair color changes (talk about confusion!), hoping at some point he'd get struck by a meteor or cupid's arrow or whatever, and realize that I was the the woman of his dreams! Turned out years later, he wasn't looking for a woman, but the man of his dreams. What the hell was I thinking? I mean, how the heck did I miss the signs? It was so blatantly clear when he enthusiastically agreed that Mark Wahlberg was freaking hot! Was love really that blind?

But... it has been ten years since, and it's all water under the bridge now. Sure, I still cringe in embarrasment when I think about it, but I more than made up for it when I married an amazing, no-question-about-it, totally straight man.

Anyhoo, years later, after I found out the shocking truth, I immediately took out my Mr. Right Requirements list and crossed out an item.

#8. ~~Wants the same thing in life as I do~~.

I definitely didn't want a man who also wanted a man!

The One With My Attempt To Do a Public Service Announcement

2010-02-02T07:49:00.014-05:00

A friendly reminder to all the clueless drivers out there...

1. Just because you signaled your intent to change lane doesn't mean I should give way to you right away, and let you cut me off and move to my lane the minute you want to. You don't own the road, and it's my right of way, you know.

2. A YIELD sign means, well... yield. That is why, when you're trying to merge to a freeway and see that yield sign, you should do exactly that and yield ( I can't stress this enough!), instead of speeding up and trying to get ahead of me. Again, it's my right of way.

3. There's a reason why the law prohibits tailing and specifies a safe distance between two cars on a highway. Because it's safer! Yes... S-A-F-E-R... safer! To prevent 'clueless drivers' (and by that I meant another word) like you from running smack dab into the car ahead, in case the other person had an absolute need to stop immediately. In case you don't know, you need longer distance and more force to brake on time when you're running at a speed of least 65 miles per hour.

4. A yellow light doesn't mean... hurry up and do a left turn, while you're waiting right there, in the center of a four-way intersection! There's a big chance you'll run into another idiot on the opposite side of the road who also thinks that yellow light means speed up before it turns into red.

5. If you're gonna drive below the speed limit, please, I beg of you, stay on the right lane.

6. And finally... no, don't take George Carlin's words seriously, because he was only kidding when he said that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot and anyone going faster than you is a maniac. Contrary to what you might be thinking, you're not the best driver in the world. So stop the road rage, refrain (as best as you can) from honking and giving the finger, and lay easy on calling people idiots. Okay, okay... you can, but only when they're tailing you too close or when they cut you off! And even then, just keep it to yourself to avoid huge fights.

I say all these with the best intentions.

The One With My Mom's Addiction to Facebook

2010-01-31T09:36:00.013-05:00

Apparently, Facebook is a disease that has afflicted even the older generations.

My Mom is the living proof. Ever since she had discovered the world of facebook, she had left the world of Harlequin romances and cooking shows, and had gone off to delight herself with real life stories of who's married to whom, who's fertilized whose Farmville farms, and who threw a love pillow at whom. Her number of friends is rapidly growing at an alarming exponential rate! I say alarming, since I have a feeling, that given a few more months, she'll have more friends than me... and who would wanna admit that her mother is more popular than her? Turned out, she's searched all her gradeschool and highschool classmates, and each and every one of her and my Dad's relatives.

And who would have guessed that my uncle's 60-year old socially awkward wife, or my 72-year old cat-loving grand-aunt are tech savvies who have facebook profiles?

Truth be told, I don't mind my Mom's rising popularity. What I do mind is logging on to my facebook account, and discovering I've been tagged in some not-so-flattering childhood pictures that she uploaded to amuse our relatives and friends! Apparently, my definition of embarassing is the equivalent of amusing to her. I won't elaborate, but suffice it to say that the pictures have made my husband a believer of the theory of evolution and the ugly duckling story, and left him profusely thanking God for my transformation.

I'm beginning to think my sister was so smart in declining my mother's friend request.

The One With My Supposedly Speeding Ticket

2010-01-29T12:08:00.009-05:00

So this morning, on my way to work, I got out of another one of my supposedly speeding tickets.

And contrary to what you might be thinking, no, I didn't bat my eyelashes coquettishly, showed off some cleavage (not that I have a lot to show), nor tried to bribe the officer. I swear! I didn't do anything, except sit quietly and smile nervously.

My husband seems to think it's my sweet, innocent-looking face that fools people into believing that I am, in no way, capable of doing anything wrong. Of course, there's a huge probability that he just wanted to get laid tonight so he'll say anything. But then again, maybe not, because the jerk added that if only people really knew me like he does, they'll know the truth. Even so, he might be on to something. I look pretty angelic, you know. ;-) Just don't come knocking at my door very early on a weekend morning or you'll get the biggest shock of your life.

Anyhoo, so there I was, driving happily while yakking on the phone (I know, I know... I'm horrible), oblivious to the possibility that I might be driving at 75 to 80 miles an hour (who knows for sure?) on a 65 mph speed limit. Out of nowhere, this cop car appeared ( I swear, they've learned their tricks from Harry Potter for being masters of invisibility) and started following me. I knew I was in deep sh*t the minute the dreaded blue and red siren lights started flashing. So I parked my car on the roadside, rolled down my window, and like a kid in a principal's office awaiting nervously for whats's to come, sat quietly and bite my nails until the cop came to my car.

The police came, took one look at me, and said "You know, I'm just gonna let you go. I wasn't sure if it was you or another red car. Just drive carefully, okay?"

So whether I was really speeding or not, we'll never know for sure. All I know is that this is the third time I got pulled over and let go. So either I really have a sweet, innocent-looking face or the gods must be watching over me. In fact, I can brag that I am, TECHNICALLY, a law-abiding citizen, as I have never had any single speeding ticket in the five years I've been driving in the United States.

But... knock on wood. My luck usually runs out after I brag.

The One With My Lack of Organizational Skills

2010-01-25T07:47:00.023-05:00

One thing you should know about the Hubby is that he's a freak of nature who's obsessed with organizing every single darn thing. One thing you should know about me is that I'm anything but, yet if I lost or misplaced something, I'd get so frustrated that I end up frustrating everybody around.

We're such a great couple, aren't we?

So last Saturday, when I couldn't find my documents we needed for filing our tax return, disaster naturally ensued. We spent the latter part of the afternoon combing through my files and being frustrated at each other. Him at me, for my lack of organizational skills, and me at him, for adding to my already built-up frustration. Let's just say.... our night ended colder than the freezing weather outside our house. Definitely not the night of endless passion we were originally aiming for!

But there's no argument that a sleepy I'm-sill-mad-but-I-sleep-better-next-to-your-warm-body hug in the middle of the night, a light of a new day or a mutual love for Home and Garden Exhibits can't mend. The following morning, we found ourselves in our usual cuddle position, and cheerfully getting ready for the show. All was forgiven. I was definitely in a better mood, as I even laughed in good humor when he snickered oh-so-loudly at a keychain we saw at the exhibit that has my name and its meaning.

Chloie (and by that, I meant my real name): a well-organized, proper, and elegant woman.

I am a Woman, Hear Me Roar

2010-01-22T14:40:00.005-05:00

You just gotta love these bumper stickers!!!

Well-behaved women rarely make history.

How can I miss you if you won't go away?

Princess, having sufficient time with prince, seeks frog.

Coffee, chocolate, men. Some things are better rich.

If you want breakfast in bed, sleep in the kitchen.

Dinner is ready when the smoke alarm goes off.

Next mood swings: 6 minutes.

Warning: I have an ATTITUDE and I know how to use it.

Of course, I don't look busy. I did it right the first time!

You have the right to remain silent, so please shut up.

Just because I'm a woman doesn't mean I can't drive a fast car, be a good boss or smoke a cigar. Being strong doesn't mean I'm not feminine and it certainly doesn't make me a bitch.

source: http://www.jokefrog.com/joke/0001.shtml

Language Lesson

2010-01-21T08:08:00.009-05:00

Last week, The Hubby decided to impress me with his 'growing expertise' of my first language , as well as show his romantic side, and sent me a text message...

Pag-ibig sa yo. Ikaw ang aking lahat bagay bagay.

For the first few seconds, I was like, 'Huh?! What?... Love to you? You are my all things things.?' It doesn't make any sense. So obviously googled!

But then, being the smart woman that I can be on occasions that my brain works properly, I figured out what he was trying to say. So I sent him back a message, together with the correct Filipino words.

D- for the grammar, but A+ for the effort.... Iniibig kita (I love you). Ikaw ang lahat sa akin. (You are my everything).

And being the smart-ass that he can be sometimes, he replied with the only sentence he knew that I definitely couldn't dispute the grammar of, one which another smart-ass guy friend of mine decided to teach him while we were all on vacation at Hocking Hills.

Fine, how about this?... Bwisit ka. (You're annoying).

I learned never to criticize the man again. Especially when he only had the best intentions.

Back to Drama Land

2010-01-19T09:11:00.002-05:00

I know that I have promised to stop being a drama queen and just delight you with fabulous tales of my extraordinary life, but, guess what?... I lied.

Although I'm happy most of the time, and grateful for having a husband who lets me believe I'm almost always right, an awesome mother who does all my share of domestic chores while enjoying a 'vacation' at my house, a ridiculously cute puppy who stole my heart despite his non-stop chewing and peeing, once a month (or maybe a week a month), my female hormones bite me in the ass and takes me back to Drama Land.

Yesterday, after I came home from work, I hugged my puppy and kissed my husband (in that order), then went upstairs to change my clothes. A few minutes later, I went back downstairs and played with Apollo. Out of the blue, I felt choked up by emotions, and tears started to well up my eyes. But before my husband give me a here-she-goes-again-what-the-heck-have-I-married-into look, I run to the showers and cried my heart out. For some unfathomable reasons, I suddenly felt pathetic giving so much affection to a puppy, when all I really wanted was to spoil a human baby. A baby of my own. A baby that's my flesh and blood.

But no worries. I feel better now that common sense has prevailed and had been comforted by the always reliable Haagen-Dazs. Afterall, if natural means don't work, we'll start our treatment sometime in March. So there's hope. I'm sure of it. In the meantime,there's no law that says I can't enjoy practicing and perfecting the art of making babies. So I intend to enjoy every minute of it. ;-)

My Bachelorette Days Are So Over

2010-01-17T12:05:00.012-05:00

After these past few days, I came to huge realization.

My bachelorette days are finally over.

You'd probably think... 'Duh, she should have realized that 10 months ago when she got married!' And you'd be right. I should have. But basically, I just pretended that I have a lifetime boyfriend or roommate with benefits, so it wasn't such a big deal . Sure, things are a bit different, but my husband is such an awesome guy (I gotta say that in case he reads this blog... which he does from time to time) that he spoils me and lets me do pretty much whatever I want.

But now? Now that I got a puppy? Things are certainly different. Nobody told me it would be this hard! Well, okay... some people did tell me, but I can be the thanks-for-the-advice-but-I-know-what-I'm-doing type of girl, so naturally, I didn't listen. Now, my husband and I have to take turns getting up at 2am and then at 6am, just to let him go potty! Yes, have to, like, have to pay taxes, or have to breathe air! And worser than worst, I can't leave the house for more than four hours, because according to the all-knowing pet experts, it's plain cruelty.

Oh, freedom, my beloved freedom, how I miss you so!

But then again, just as I know it would be, everything's all worth it. Especially when you come home and he starts wagging his tail excitedly. Or when the litle rascal starts responding to the word 'No', or seeing him learn how to climb the stairs by himself.

Who needs 8 hours of sleep anyway? I say, sleep is overrated. Besides, according to my Mom, this is actually a good practice for taking care of her grandchild in the future. Little did she know, she'd be doing a lot of the taking care when it happens.

A New Addition

2010-01-14T12:47:00.005-05:00

Yesterday, the Husband and I welcomed a new addition to our family.

Weighing in at 10 pounds with black fur and dark eyes... is our baby... our baby dog, Apollo! He's a beautiful 8 week old Elkhound/Shepher mix. And like every other proud mommies (except maybe Casey Anthony), I also thought he's the cutest baby in the world. He had me at hello. He looked so sweet and angelic, it was too hard not to fall in love.

Actually, Hubs and I were originally thinking of going to a breeder, since we're very keen on getting a puppy (not a full grown dog). But since we can be softhearted when the mood strikes and advocates of human and animal rights on good days, we decided to check out the shelter first. And what do you know? Staring right at us with those soulful eyes, begging to be picked up and cuddled, was our beautiful puppy. Right then and there, I felt that familiar tug in my heartstring when I met my husband and I saw my wedding dress, he's 'The One.' I just gotta have him.

But... just as I should have learned from my experience with The Hubby and men in general, looks can be deceiving (especially good looks) and first impression isn't always necessarily true. Right after I took him home, and he realized I was already hooked, the little angel turned into a spawn of the devil. He started chewing everything on sight -including my leg, and pooping and peeing all over our brand new carpet. I spent the rest of my afternoon cleaning and chasing after him that I was almost tempted to take him back.

Fortunately for him, I did learn something from my relationships with male. Patience, Chloe, lots of patience. Eventually, he'd learn who's the boss.

Sleepless Night

2010-01-12T12:22:00.003-05:00

I had four hours of sleep last night.

I wish I could say that it's all due to some wild, crazy nocturnal extracurricular activities, but unfortunately, it's not. My body just simply refused to relax and get that much needed beauty rest.

At 11pm, I was ready. I turned off the lights after watching some television junk that's proven to acceralate the death of my already aging brain cells, and closed my eyes. Thirty minutes passed. My eyes were still closed, but my mind was off wondering... am I really ready to get a puppy... how am I gonna train him... this is exciting, but it's also frightening... blah, blah, blah. Another 30 minutes passed. Now, my mind had gone off wondering what's the big deal about the Sara Palin's or Paris Hilton's of this world... is there really heaven... why does it snow so much in Cleveland.

I realized I was thinking too much, so I tried to relax. I did the tried and tested counting sheep method, but I have counted hundreds of sheeps, and sleep still eluded me. I read a science paper that was guaranteed to make me fall asleep back in my college years, but still to no avail. I got up and drank milk like my mother used to tell me, and still no luck. I was so tempted to wake The Hubby up for a quick work-out that has, in the past had me sleeping like a baby right after (especially when it's out-of-this-world good) , but I know better than to wake an exhausted man up at 1 o'clock in the morning. Even with the promise of sex.

So in the end, I resorted to the one thing I always had an aversion to. Sleeping pill.

Unfortunately for my co-workers, I got up as the crankiest woman on planet Earth.

They're All Gay

2010-01-11T12:12:00.008-05:00

Apparently, all the gorgeous men I lust after are gay.

Just ask my husband.

Hugh Jackman? That hot, gorgeous man with a body to die for?... He's gay!

Jason Statham? That manly man with am amazing six-pack and an oh-so-lovable accent?... He's gay!

Bradley Cooper? That guy whose looks make me quiver, and is so ravishingly delicious in a black outfit?... He's gay!

If only I can say the same thing about Megan Fox or Jessica Biel.

Unfortunately, the thought of that only turns him on more.

(PS. In case you start wondering, and before their lawyers start knocking at my door suing me for defamation... no, those men are not gay... not at all! It's just my husband's way of trying to disillusion me!)

officially working

2010-01-08T11:29:00.007-05:00

Cleveland is being hammered with snow. Again. Eight inches of freaking snow.

I swear, if it's not for the Cavaliers (oh... and my husband and my job!), I would have left this cursed city long ago. Four months of continuous snowfall every year? Too long for a tropical gal like me.

But anyhoo... since I am special and my boss loves me enough to let me do anything, I got to work at home today. Never mind that I'm a chemist who needs to work in a lab, I still told people I'm working at home because of the crappy weather. In my defense, I am. I really am! I just finished a reliability report and answered a bunch of job-related emails. I even dragged my lazy butt out of the bed at 7:00 in the morning. Sure, I did log on my facebook and blogger accounts at some point (like right now), but hey, I do that at the office, too! So nothing's really different.

Well... except maybe for a few things. Like writing my report while lying in a jacuzzi tub listening to Michael Buble's latest album. Or watching my vain husband (who got jealous of me and decided to take the day off as well) model some of his new clothes while I was on my short break.
And yeah, I had some wine at lunch. I know, I know. Drinking on the job. Shame on me.

I'm Getting Old

2010-01-07T07:59:00.017-05:00

It's official. I'm getting old.

Either my brain had became fully saturated with chemistry information that it's starting to have a hard time keeping old info and absorbing new ideas, or my brain cells are slowly dying of old age (I prefer the first explanation, but my husband teases me it's the latter), because I'm becoming so forgetful. Really forgetful. I've lost 20 dollars last week, it took me forever to find my car keys this morning, and I've set off our home security alarm three times in two months, because... well... I forgot to turn it off before I opened the door!

And, it's usually a woman's thing to remember details of her dates, but I swear my husband remembers more than I do. For new years eve celebration, I told him, "Honey, we should go to Bonefish Grill for dinner. They have really good food! You should try it. " To which he replied, "Babe, I know. I was there with you before, remember?"

I'm starting to be convinced that my Mother's right. If my body's detachable, I'd probably lose it too.

Wait, what was I talking about again? Oh yeah, memory loss. I better start taking some Ginkgo.

Conversation

2010-01-06T12:05:00.004-05:00

Hubby: Babe, are you happy with me?
Me: Of course I am. Why do you ask?
Hubby: You seem to be eating a lot lately.
Me (defensively): No, I'm n0t!
Hubby: You just ate a whole apple pie. Are you stressed out or something? I hope you're not stressed out because of me.
Me: No, you don't stress me out.... Aaww... Honey, are you worried about me? (heart melting...)
Him: Yeah, babe. I don't want you to get fat!

Gift Cards

2010-01-05T14:34:00.002-05:00

Hubs and I used all the gift cards we received for christmas and went on some serious shopping spree last weekend.

Let me just say, whoever came up with the idea of giftcards is the smartest man/woman who ever existed. I swear, its pure brilliance! I don't have to move my lips in something that resembles a smile anymore, just to show how grateful I am for a purplish floral wallet, or for a yellow sundress I wouldn't be caught dead wearing. With a giftcard, I can actually give a genuine, happy smile in anticipation of the lovely things I would buy with it.

Don't get me wrong. I know it's the thought that counts, and I'm grateful for the thought. Really. Honestly. But I still think it's a waste of money to buy a gift for someone that he/she won't even use. I believe that you should only buy gifts for people that fall under these three categories: people you know so well you can finish their sentences, people who belong to your own generation (and only if they also fall under the first category), and people who gave you their wish lists. If they don't, then give the loving gift of a giftcard. If you feel it's not personal enough, then seal it with a kiss. Trust me, it's a win-win situation. Less work for you, more happiness for them.

As I was saying, Hubs and I went to the mall and used our giftcards. After which, I called my mother-in-law and my aunts, and genuinely thank them for the pair of boots, two coats, a pretty blouse and a pair of jeans they 'bought' for me.

2009 Highlights

2010-01-04T10:08:00.015-05:00

I was halfway through my list of New Years resolutions when I realized, 'Who the heck was I kidding?'. Chloie and resolutions don't go very well together. My success rate in keeping them is abolutely low . Zero success, as a matter of fact. I'd start full of enthusiasms, and then, a couple of months later wonder where the enthusiasms went. Sure, I can promise to be the best wife ever, be happy all the time and never nag, but... come on, is there a wife who doesn't? Especially one who's a slave to her emotions? And I can promise to exercise more, but we all know I can find excuses after excuses not to get off my lazy butt. But on my defense, I do latin and belly dances from time to time.

And so this year, I decided to make no resolutions.

Instead, I'll give you the highlights of my previous year.

- Got married. And on days when I'm very happy... smiled endlessly and considered myself very fortunate to have found 'The One'. But on days when Hubs was being a smart ass and won't accept that yourstruly is always right... wondered why I got hitched. Fortunately, those days are few and far between.

- Had an unofficial mini-honeymoon in Chicago. I wish I could say that we never left our room that weekend and had a marathon work-out like normal honeymooners (or at least in movies), unfortunately, I can't. For reason that is... well... not within my control. (I blame Mother Nature for having a poor sense of timing). Poor hubby! But I swear, I did more than make up for his disappointment a week after. ;-) And we still had a great time in that lovely city.

- Built a new house. On days when all bills are paid, and friends ooh-ed and aah-ed at what a nice house it is, smiled proudly, and was grateful to be a homeowner. But on days when bills start to pile up, wondered what the heck were we thinking buying a house this year.

- Went hiking and ziplining at Hocking Hills with friends. Great time! Enough said.

- Went to Myrtle Beach, South Carolina on a one-week vacation with the husband's family. Nice beach and wondeful time. Long drive, though. And a week life with too many people under one roof was a little bit too long for a part time-social person and part time- loner like me.

- Hosted Thanksgiving/ Housewarming party. Had loads of fun, but vowed that the next parties I'll host would be potluck ones.

- Welcomed the big 30 with a smile in my face. With age, comes more wisdom and maturity. So... hello, wisdom and maturity!

- Presented a talk at a conference in San Jose, California and pretended that I've joined the ranks of important people. Also met up with my childhood bestfriend there. For the first time after 18 years!

- Successfully completed two big projects at work. Woot woot! Now, I'm ready for my promotion.

Happy New Year, everyone!!!

Answered Prayer

2009-12-30T10:49:00.004-05:00

God does answer some prayers.

For the past six months, I've been hoping and praying that I would one day get out of my boss' line of sight and be set free. Come on, don't you think it's plain cruelty to set an employee's cubicle right next to her boss'? Whether you wanna believe it or not, everybody has a love/hate relationship with their bosses. I'm no different. My boss is what I'd call, a strange fellow and a total geek. I mean, who uses the words 'my neurons are firing' when explaining that 'he's thinking'? Either he wants to impress people with his science vocabulary (sure, he has a PhD in Chemistry, but still...) or he's just plain nerdy (Says the woman who name her cat Atom ;-)). After a while, I did get used to him being that way, unfortunately, I couldn't get used to the fact that he likes to micromanage people. Including me! As some of you may have already guessed, I'm a bit of a control-freak, so Chloie and any bosses, naturally, don't go very well together.

So imagine my utter happiness when the plant manager announced that they're building my boss an office! You know... that enclosed space with a wooden door that will completely isolate him and block me from his prying eyes? Yes, that's the one!

Now, I can do my work better.

And finally get the chance to blog from time to time.

Happiness. Sheer happiness.

Happy Holidays!

2009-12-27T08:04:00.005-05:00

In case you're wondering, I had a wonderful christmas.

Granted that I wasn't able to go to St Paul, Minnesota to visit my cousin because the darn city got plowed with snow, but still, I have learned a lesson, or at least, confirmed what I've always suspected... you can never trust the IRS, an a**hole ex-boyfriend, or those weathermen . They say one thing, and then turn around and say another. And granted also that my 3-year old supposedly reliable Toyota decided to inform me that there might be trouble with the engine right before I was to pick up my Mom and my sister from Indiana, but still, I ended up driving in style in my husband's precious Mustang.

The day before christmas, my excited husband gave me a gift that reaffirmed why I married him. (Boy, that guy certainly knows how to please me!) He gave me one of the most amazing piece of jewelry I've ever seen. It was a beautiful white gold necklace accented with perfect diamonds and with a gorgeous pearl as the centerpiece. Naturally, I squealed with delight and told him he's the best husband ever. I am such a woman.

I spent Christmas day sleeping in, eating, driving, eating again, opening gifts, eating yet again and then watching Avatar in 3D. In that order. May I say... that movie was out of this world, literally and figuratively! It was amazing! It certainly lived up to the hype. It's one of the best $10.25 I've ever spent. Watch the movie, if you haven't yet.

Okay, time to go back to my thorougly enjoyed break from work.

Happy holiday, my friends!

A Total Blog Make-over

2009-12-23T16:06:00.006-05:00

I'm doing a complete make-over and changing the title and tone of this blog.

These past couple of months, intead of being the inspirational blogger that I used to be, I've succumbed to being the poor, pathetic whiner that I can be sometimes.

Enough already.

I can't promise to be jolly all the time, but from now on, I'll try my very best to be the happy, carefree, fabulous person that I know I am. Trust me, I am. It's just buried beneath a drama queen persona with a flare for histrionics and a tendency to have sporadic depression attacks.

So from now on, no more mushiness or sentimental stories. I would try my very best to entertain you only with fabulous tales of my extraordinary life.

Until of course, I experience another meltdown.

New Chapter

2009-12-22T09:36:00.019-05:00

My husband and I will be embarking on a new chapter of our lives next year.

No, we're not embarking on parenthood in the sense that I'm pregnant with a little Choie or little Hubby, but... we are having a baby... a baby dog!!!

I've thought about getting a dog before, especially after watching Marley and Me, but I never really pursued it. I felt that there was too much work involved. I didn't know if I'll have enough time to walk the dog and I worry where I can take him/her when we go on vacation. I'm not even sure if I wanted to pick up after him or if I can tolerate finding my things chewed up when I get home. Last week however, I saw this really adorable puppy, and suddenly I felt this yearning to have a dog again. Maybe it's hormones or my motherly instinct kicking in, but I just knew I want one.

So off I went to see my husband and talk to him about it, and his answer?... Why not?

I wasn't really expecting him to say yes, because the last time we talked about it, he felt the same way that I did. It's too much work for us - with our busy schedule and several plans. However, I have a funny suspision that he wants to do it now, to take my mind off my worries and to have someone to temporarily channel my motherly instincts on, while we're working on our human baby ;-)

So anyway, right now, I'm trying to decide what dog to get.

One of my favorites is a pomeranian. Look at that adorable face!

However, Hubby's not too keen on one, because he wants a bigger dog. But he said, he figured I would want a Pomeranian because it's a diva dog (can you believe the nerve of that guy ? ;-)) and if my heart's really set on one, of course we'll get one.

My husband's favorite, on the other hand, is a German Shephard, which I don't really have an objection to. They're cute too, and when they grow up, they're really great guard dogs.

I like Lab Retrievers, as well. Like Marley. I just hope he/she's not gonna be as naughty as him.

It feels like a tough decision, but maybe, just as with men and wedding dress, once you laid eyes on him/her, you'll just know he/she's 'The One'.

My dear friends, any suggestions? I'd love some help here!!!

My Aha Moment

2009-12-18T12:45:00.008-05:00

"A happy life is just a string of happy moments. But most people don't allow the happy moment, because they're so busy trying to get a happy life." - Abraham Hicks

A few days ago, my boss told me a story about a guy he knew who worked so hard his entire life and saved so much money for retirement, only to die of heart attack a week after he retired. The story touched my heart and opened my mind in a way I can't fully explain.

Truth be told, I've spent most of life planning for the future and trying to figure out my life's purpose. I plan my life to a T and base most of my happiness on the fruituition of my dreams. There are times when I become so obsessed with them, that I forget to live life at the moment and enjoy its simple pleasures. These past couple of months, I've been so sad (sometimes bordering on depression) just because I feel like nothing in my life is turning out the way I planned it to be. I become consumed with thoughts of bills I have to pay, the dream wedding I had to postpone, the baby I wished I have, that I tend to forget that I have a brand new, beautiful house and three nice cars, that I have a great husband who completely adores me, that I have family and friends who supports me, and that we have all the food we want on the table.

Hearing this story was an Aha moment for me. It completely opened my mind to a new way of thinking.

I don't wanna live like this guy. I don't wanna live for the future. I wanna live in the moment while I can, and live life to the fullest.

As James Openheim said, ' The foolish man seeks happiness in the distance, the wise grows it under his feet.'

PS. Thanks to Liv from Bambola's Diary for that wonderful post card from Italy. You completely made my week! Enjoy your Europe trip!

I Wish

2009-12-15T11:49:00.002-05:00

I wish I'm the type of person who gets up cheerfully in the morning with nothing but smiles to welcome the new day. I wish I'm the happy-go-lucky-type of person who never worries about the future and never think back about the past. I wish I could live each moment one at a time, just happy to be alive each day. I wish I can look at the world with bright eyes and just enjoy the simple pleasures of life.

Unfortunately, I'm not and I can't. I think I've become jaded and pessimistic.

But I'll get back on my feet, I promise.

Happy Birthday, Hubby!

2009-12-11T15:42:00.005-05:00

Tomorrow is my husband's birthday. And so, I'll be spoiling him rotten. I'll get him the exercise bike he's always wanted, give him a full body massage and take him out to a fancy dinner. I'm also thinking of surprizing him tonight with a treasure hunt of small gifts, and with me as the grand prize. ;-) if he found all of them. He deserves it, for everything he has done for me.

So to my utterly beloved husband... Happy birthday, Honey! I thank God everyday for the day you were born, and for giving you to me.

Losing My Mind

2009-12-08T09:02:00.004-05:00

Everytime I turn around, there always seem to be something I have to deal with...

The IRS, for making us go through hoops in getting our first-time homebuyers tax credit.

My doctor, who just charged us $977 for a diagnostic exam.

Our insurance company, who doesn't wanna pay for said charge.

All kinds of bills associated with owning a house.

The loss of my experimental data, because my computer at work is acting out....

I swear, I'm close to losing my mind!

Actually, that might be the case early this morning. I got up, took a shower, got all dolled-up, ate a quick breakfast, and was on the process of opening the door when...

THERE CAME A LOUD SIREN IN THE HOUSE!

Turned out, I forgot to turn off our security alarm system.

So yes, it's official. I'm losing my mind.

But don't worry, I'll be fine. At least, I still have a nice body... just ask my husband ;-).

This Thing Called Marriage

2009-12-04T14:46:00.009-05:00

Joseph Barth once said, 'Marriage is the last, best chance to grow up'.

I couldn't agree more.

With 30 years of life experiences, I thought I've seen it all, and had grown into a wise and mature woman. I mean, 30 years? That's a lot! When I was a kid, I thought my 30 year-old cousins were ancient! I thought I have learned how to react to situations accordingly, how to handle problems maturely, and how to deal with life in general. I thought I had grown up. But then, I got married.

And boy, was I ever wrong!

Marriage forces people to grow up... really grow up. You learn how to be less selfish and to sometimes put another person's needs above yours. You learn to love unconditionally without expecting anything in return, and to be considerate of someone else's feelings. You learn that things don't always go according to your plans and you won't always get what you want, but still be okay with it. You learn to be more responsible about finances, about bill paying and about prioritization. Marriage has lots of challenges, but you learn to deal with each of them by trying to be strong, and not crying at the slightest disappointment. You learn to speak your mind without being too hurtful and not keep things bottled inside, because silent treatment doesn't do either of you good. You learn that you're not always right, probably just 90% of the time ;-). You learn how to apologize when you made a mistake, because it's not true that love means never having to say you're sorry. You learn how to forgive, and not to bear grudges. You learn how to argue in a nondestructive way, and pick the right battles.

But with it all, you learn to relax and let go of the past, because you have your present life with a man who makes you happy. You learn to appreciate all the love your husband has to offer, and to thank him for every single thing he does for you. You learn how it is to belong, and how to share your life completely and freely.

And best of all, you learn that 'to love and be loved' is the best thing life has to offer.

Q and A

2009-12-01T07:45:00.006-05:00

Hope everybody had a great thanksgiving celebration! I know I did! My husband and I hosted our first thanksgiving/housewarming party at our new house. We all had a blast! Everything turned out according to plans. Well, almost everything, except ... can you believe this? I accidentally left the gizzard bag on the baked turkey ;-). Surprisingly, the turkey still turned out good! Silly me! Just goes to show how good of a cook I am! Good thing my Mom was around and was such a big help!

Anyway, last week, I posted the question... What are the things you used to believe in when you were a kid, but realized later weren't true?

And here are the reader's answers...

Bambola from Bambola's Diary:
That my dad knew & could fix everything. I'm in my 20's now and still think that sometimes. It's an "oh yeah" moment when he has to say he doesn't know. :)It's not a bad realisation though, it's a human, grounding one.

Jamie from His n Her Towels:
My husband believed that the World Series, was actually called the 'World Serious' - because it was a really serious baseball game.

This is bad, but as a child I believed that if a man and women were "making love" on tv or a movie, that they were actually, physically doing the deed. I think it is safe to say that I was confused about sex most of my childhood.

Just me:
i think the most powerful one is the fact that you cannot change anything and that in reality, no one can change you. you may make decisions that are not so good, that you can later joke, "oh, it was because of THEM that i did this." but in reality....it's ALL YOU!!!

C from Midwestern Mama with a New York Heart:
1. what i thought nursing was about sure as hell isnt reality.
2. that my marriage, if i ever got married, would last forever.
3. that catholiscism was the ONLY true religion.

anonymous reader:
1. i would married by age 24-25, and i'm very sure about it, but when i'm at end of 25, i realized i'm still not ready...
2. used to believe life is very simply...but it's not actually..

Question of the Week

2009-11-24T08:52:00.003-05:00

I'm starting a weekly thing where I ask a question and you, my lovely blogger friends will provide the answers. I'll post all your answers sometime that week, together with my own opinion or ideas.

So here's my question of the week...

What were the things you used to believe in when you were a kid, but realized later weren't true?

Things That Bring a Smile to My Face

2009-11-20T07:50:00.006-05:00

My husband's sweet hugs and kisses.

The smell of my Mom's cooking after a long day at work (she's here with us on vacation).

Phone call from my beloved sister.

The sight of our lovely newly-built house.

the glipmse of sunset from my window.

my Mom and Dad's comforting words.

my 8-year old nephew's endless chatter.

my husband telling me he loves me.

reading other people's blogs.

receiving comments from my blogger friends.

our coming 1st year wedding anniversary in Las Vegas.

our housewarming/thanks giving party for family and friends.

the smell of fresh flowers from our dining table.

my boss getting a new office and finally getting out of my hair.

promising results from the project I'm working on.

listening to funny Elvis Duran on my way to work.

having a family who loves me wholeheartedly.

having supportive in-laws who cares about me deeply.
having totally amazing friends.

knowing I have a wonderful man who thinks the world of me!

This Will Pass Away, Too

2009-11-19T07:50:00.003-05:00

I found this poem by Helen Steiner Rice and loved it!!!

If I can endure for this minute

Whatever is happening to me,

No matter how heavy my heart is

Or how dark the moment may be ...

If I can remain calm and quiet

With all the world crashing about me,

Secure in the knowledge God loves me

When everyone else seems to doubt me ...

If I can but keep on believing

What I know in my heart to be true,

That darkness will fade with the morning

And that "this will pass away, too!" ...

Then nothing in life can defeat me

For as long as this knowledge remains

I can suffer whatever is happening

For I know God will break all the chains

That are binding me tight in "the darkness"

And trying to fill me with fear ...

For there is "no night without dawning"

And I know that "my morning" is near.

Surrendering to Fate

2009-11-17T14:26:00.009-05:00

I've always believed that, except in certain aspects of our lives, our journey in this planet Earth is something that we can orchestrate on our own.

I was wrong.

We can plan our life to a T, and put in all our dedication and hardwork, but the truth is... if it's not meant to be, it's not meant to be. There are things in life that are just out of our control, and no matter how hard we try, we can't force them to happen.

This latest experience of mine had humbled me. It's ironic how I tried to orchestrate my path to motherhood by dumping a guy who can't give me a child, only to fall deeply into the arms of another one who can't. Maybe it's karma or maybe it's God's way of telling me something. I don't know what it is, but I know one thing for sure. I'm done being sad! I can cry my eyes out, moan and curse my fate but the thing is, it won't do me any good. It's something that is totally out of my control. And so, I'm surrendering to whatever God has in store for me. I'm done trying to map out my life. I will never lose hope for my future, but I will live life, one day at a time.

Hhhmmm.... maybe I should change the the title of my blog from Orchestrated Destiny to Surrendering to Fate. What do you think, my dear friends? ;-)

Broken Heart

2009-11-09T07:42:00.009-05:00

My worst nightmare had came true.

A couple of weeks ago, I wrote about my utterly strong desire to have a baby and become a mother. There is nothing I want more than to have one. My husband and I had been trying for six months now and so far we haven't had any luck. People had been telling me that I just need to be patient, but I coulnd't. I had to know if there's something wrong or at least get my peace of mind if there isn't. So I dragged my husband to the doctor and had ourselves checked.

Turned out there is something wrong. We still need to talk to the doctor to clarify (it was just the assistant who told us the initial results) and know what our options are, but so far, we know that there's a problem and we might go through some trouble trying to conceive. I don't know all the exact details yet but I will on Thursday.

Needless to say, I felt so crushed. I spent the whole weekend crying my eyes out. Even now, as I write this post, I can feel the tears brimming from my eyes. I honestly don't know what to do. I'm still hoping for the best... hoping that we do have several options, because I don't think I can take it if we don't. I woke up this morning feeling this huge emptiness in my heart. I can't go through this. I'm not strong enough for it. And I don't think I've done anything so wrong to deserve this kind of pain. I know in my heart I would be a great (not just good) mother.

Back from California

2009-11-06T12:50:00.006-05:00

I'm back from California, and though I'm very happy to be back in my husband's arms, I can't say I'm too happy to be back in this darn cold Ohio weather.

Anyway, my trip went really well.

First of all, my talk was well-received. I was nervous at first, but once I got going, all the nervousness flew and I started talking with more confidence. A lot of people stood up to congratulate me, and even the chairman of the session told me I had the best presentation he had seen. Needless to say, I was so happy and proud.

And of course, I finally saw my childhood bestfriend again... after 18 years! We had such a great time catching up. I missed her so much. She's still the same pretty and wonderful friend I've always known her to be. She's getting married next year and I'm so happy for her.

One strange thing, though. I got asked out twice during the conference. Sure, I know I'm hot (hahaha), but I've got a wedding ring on! How could these guys ignore the fact that I'm married and still invite me out for dinner and drinks? In a way, I know it's easier to start a conversation when you're in a conference (there's an abundance of topics to talk about), but don't they have the decency to chose a single woman? I've been to conferences before and I've been asked out a few times too, but I was single then, so it didn't bother me. My situation is different now! What do they expect? A one-night stand? Maybe I'm just over-reacting, but I'm beginning to wonder if these things are really common in these types of gatherings, and I was just oblivious about it. (Come to think of it, my Ex cheated on me while he was in one!) And this happens to be a technology conference... with lots of supposedly professional men! Anyway, I said No (of course) and tried to avoid them the rest of the day.

Still, I'd say the conference went pretty well. I saw all these amazing technological progresses, and I'm happy to be a part of a field that contributes to bettering peoples lives. It's times like this when I feel that I'm somehow making a difference in this society we live in.

Baby Fever

2009-10-30T08:02:00.007-04:00

Why is it that the more you want something, the more elusive it seems to you?

I've never wanted something in my life before as much I do now.

I desperately wanted to have a baby.

My husband and I have been trying for five months now, and so far we haven't had any luck. I know I should just relax and wait patiently, but as much as I try, I couldn't. It's easier said than done. I go through a roller coaster emotion of having so much hope, and then feeling crushed whenever I realize it's not happening that month. And then, as if the world wants to taunt me for wanting it, I see babies and pregnant mothers everywhere. My co-worker's wife is expecting twins, my friend in Michigan just gave birth, and even my teenage cousin, who's definitely not ready to have a baby, is having an accidental pregnancy.

And as time goes by, I become more and more worried and scared. I go through a slight depression once a month when I get my womanly thing. But...I won't give up. I have faith that one day, he or she will come. Becoming a mother is really very important to me. I don't know how I'll react if I find out we can't have at least one child. In fact, as terrible as this might make me sound, I broke up with a guy I used to date when he confessed to me that he can't have kids. He understood though, and let me go. He and I knew that if I ended up with him, I might be happy in the short term, but I'd be unhappy in the long run. (Maybe this is my karma? Please God, no!) I just would never feel fulfilled. That's how motherhood means to me.

So my blog friends, please pray for for me and my husband. I need your prayers and support.

Simple Pleasures of Married Life

2009-10-27T11:16:00.009-04:00

This morning, as I was getting ready to go to work, Hubby gave me a tight hug and a passionate kiss, and said:

I LOVE YOU SO MUCH, HONEY... EVEN THOUGH YOU FRUSTRATE ME SOMETIMES ;-)

Isn't he adorable? Hahaha...

Off to California in a Week...

2009-10-26T12:23:00.006-04:00

A week from today, I'll be off to the lovely state of California! I'll be giving a talk at a four-day science conference in San Jose. I wish I can say I'm completely excited (I've never been to California before), but I'm a little bit nervous. I haven't given a serious talk since graduate school, so this is kinda nerve-wracking. Imagine giving a presentation to dozens of strangers! Plus, this is a business trip - I'll be traveling with my boss and I'm pretty sure we'd spend almost all our time at the conference hall, listening to other speakers and meeting future suppliers and customers.

But... I'm very happy and proud that my work have been acknowledged. It's times like this that makes all the harwork worthwhile.

And of course, since I'd already be there, I wouldn't miss the oppurtunity to see my childhood bestfriend, who I haven't seen in 19 years! We were practically kids when we've last seen each other. We've been talking of meeting up for several years now, but it has never materialized. Now, we can, and I'm very excited about it.

So California, here I come!

from www.hubis.com/blog

The Journey to Mr. Right, Part 4

2009-10-21T07:45:00.002-04:00

After my first major heartbreak, it took me a while to get back on my feet and settle into a relationship again. Not that I didn't try, I did, but I found it hard to fall in love. I was too scared to trust and get hurt again. I ran at the slightest hints of complications and find faults in almost every guy I dated. One was sweet but not interesting enough. One drives a convertible car and owns a big house, but has curly hair and not tall enough. One was gorgeous but too complicated. Too many buts.

And then, I met this guy.

Well actually, he seeked me out. I received an email one day, saying he had seen me at the store a couple of times, and at the chemistry department where he took some classes (he's a chemical engineer) and where I was a teaching assistant. He saw my picture and email address at the board where they post informations about graduate students. He asked if he could meet me. Out of curiosity, and thinking I won't have anything to lose, I told him he can come to my laboratory. He came and we talked for a while. I remembered thinking he has one of the most beautiful eyes I've seen and was incredibly attractive, but in true Chloie fashion, decided not to go out with him. He smelled complication with a capital C. He was from a religion and a culture that was entirely foreign to me. I was strongly attracted to him, but decided to let it go.

He had an entirely different idea, though. He asked me out a few times even after I gave so many excuses not to go, that I ended up saying yes. We went to a coffee shop and I had a great time, but I still told him friendship was the only thing I can offer. He seemed okay with it, although I don't think he ever gave up. He'd do everything for me. He'd pick me up from class, call me every day, cook dinner for me, take me to the airport and do anything I asked him to. Despite all my misgivings, I found myself gradually falling for him. However, I still didn't do or say anything.

One night (3 months after we met), we we're sitting at my couch, talking and laughing, when all of a sudden... like a scene from a movie... we looked at each other and our laughter stopped. He leaned closer and when I didn't move away, gave me the most passionate kiss. I kissed him back.

And that's when I knew I've fallen in love once again.

As most relationships are, ours started out so great. We talked about getting married after we got our degrees and about all our plans to stay in the US. We didn't care about our differences in culture and religion. We thought we could overcome anything because we loved each other. But of course, as time goes on, those differences became more pronounced. There are things about him that, as much as I tried to, could never understand... and vice versa. We began arguing more and more. One day, I got so mad, I decided to end it all. He was shocked, but he let me go. I was so sad, and started regretting my decision. I was about to call him and tell him I made a mistake when my phone rang. He told me he loved me and we could work it out. I was happy beyond belief.

But it seemed as though, try as we might, we couldn't bridge our gap. Our tumultous relationship went on and off for about a year and a half. I knew part of it was my fault... truth be told, I was still emotionally immature. Whenever I felt that I wasn't getting my way, I'd break up with him, because at the back of my mind, I knew he would always take me back. And he always did.

Nevertheless, we came to a point where we had to make a final decision whether to stay together or not. I was close to getting my degree and he was still two years far from his. We still talked about getting married, but this time, he was also talking about taking me to his country to live there permanently. I won't have any of it. I have my own plans and I won't give up on them. A month before I graduated, I got a job offer that required me to move out of state and live 8 hours away. After several sleepless nights, I took the job... and tearfully said goodbye.

I'm drooling...

2009-10-19T08:40:00.008-04:00

This weekend, Hubby went to Michigan to see his family, and I stayed at home and hang out with my Mom who came here for a vacation. I dragged her to the movie theater to watch the movie 'Law Abiding Citizen', since the trailer looks good and I've been hearing wonderful reviews.

May I say...I wasn't dispappointed at all. Granted that the movie was a little violent - okay, maybe too violent that I had to close my eyes during some bloody scenes - the plot however, was great and the whole movie was well-acted. I was taken by surpise with the ending, which says a lot, because that doesn't happen to me in a lot of movies.

And of course, Gerad Butler is freakin' hot!!! He's got a body to die for. (He showed his bare chest and butt in the movie!!!).

Case in point....

Hand me a tissue, please. I think I'm drooling ;-).

Say Hello...

2009-10-16T13:57:00.002-04:00

... to an official homeowner!

Hubby and I signed our closing documents for our brand new house two weeks ago and moved in this past weekend. And may I say... it's one of the happiest month of my life! I'm so psyched and excited! I feel like I reached another milestone in my life... another check on my List of Dreams. It's times like these when I feel that all my hardwork has paid off, and every single tear and pain was worth it. And I feel so blessed.

Anyway, our house has two stories with four bedrooms and 2 and a half bath. Our master bath has a beautiful jacuzzi - how cool is that? All our bedrooms are upstairs, one of which we turned into an office/library. We have a big formal dining area and a beautiful kitchen with a small island that I wanted. The basement is not finished yet, but Hubs have an idea of dividing it into three areas - a spots bar, a work out room and a theater room with a big projector screen and recliner sofas. We also bought new furnitures to go with the new house, and I absolutely love them! We spent the whole week unpacking and decorating. In fact, we had all our boxes unpacked and the whole house looking like home in one week, it's almost unbelievable! I guess that's what excitement does to people.

Right now, I'm really just enjoying being a first-time homeowner!!!

The Journey to Mr. Right, Part III

2009-09-30T18:31:00.003-04:00

As Einstein had wondered, 'how on earth are you ever going to explain in terms of chemistry and pysics so important a biological phenomena as first love?' Falling in love, really in love, for the first time brings all kinds of wonderful feelings. It's as if you're looking at the world in a different light, and finding a whole new meaning to your everyday life.

I met my first big love at a graduate students gathering in the university. I was walking home when I felt his presence close to me. I looked over... he smiled and said 'Hi'. I said 'Hi' back. He was one of the most gorgeous guys I've ever seen. In that particular moment, I felt my heart skip a beat. We started talking. He told me he's getting his Masterals in English Studies and on his way to law school, and I told him I was pursuing a graduate degree in chemistry. When it was time for us to part ways, he offered to give me a ride home. I declined, saying my apartment was walking distance. He said goodbye, leaving me kinda disappointed that he didn't ask for my number. However, I did hope and pray to see him again at the next meeting.

True enough, I did. And better yet, there was a small potluck party at the end of the meeting. We hang out together during the party. He offered me a ride home again, and this time, asked me out on a date. I said yes to both without hesitation.

That was certainly the beginning. We saw each other 3 to 4 times every week. We watched movies, went to the park, went to dinners, studied together, etc. I was deliriously happy. For the first time in my life, I was irrevocably and completely in love. I thought it would last forever. I thought he was the one... and was almost ready to finally sleep with someone. I was just waiting for the perfect time.

About 6 months into our relationship, he went to a conference. Two days after he got back, while I was in his apartment and he was in the bathroom, his phone rang and a woman left a message... a message saying she had fun that night at the conference, and was hoping they'll see each other again. Fuming mad, I confronted him. He didn't deny it, but said it was a one-night stand and that they were both completely drank. And that it didn't mean anything. He was so apologetic, asking me to forgive him and trying to assure me it will never happen again. He even shed tears. But I still broke up with him and left. For several days, he kept calling and asking for a second chance. But I was stubborn. I knew he was full of regrets, but all his 'i love you more than anything's won't let me cave in. I knew I would never be able to forget a thing like that, and I couldn't trust him ever again.

I went into depression for a couple of days, skipping work and lying in bed all day long. It was also during that time that I started seriously contemplating on switching to the Masters program instead of pursuing a PhD degree. I already felt tired of being in the university, and the stress of it was getting to me. That heartache was the final blow. I knew then that I couldn't handle the stress of graduate school, as well as the pain of a broken heart... both at the same time. I wanted to get away from it all. I wanted to move on and forget all those things ever happened. It was the first time that I felt really in love and I didn't know how to cope with a broken heart. The betrayal made the pain worse as it also ruined my self esteem and confidence. I felt like I wasn't good enough, and spent days wondering what was wrong with me. My mind was in a huge battle of blaming myself for not giving him what he needs ( six months is probably too long a wait for a guy), and hating him for not loving me enough to wait until I was completely ready.

Eventually I did get back on my feet and started moving on. I got up determined to become the most perfect woman to roam planet Earth. I started exercising, dressing up, and putting more make-up on. I started learning how to play piano, socializing, volunteering... all in the hopes of gaining my self-esteem back. In a way, it helped. Nevertheless, it took me a while to trust another guy completely again.

The Journey to Mr. Right, Part II

2009-09-28T17:26:00.007-04:00

One of the first few guys I met when I started graduate school here in the US, was a cute European guy with a beautiful accent. I went to an International Student Orientation at the beginning of the school year, and met him there. He came to the United States from a university in Manchester, England for a one year stint as an exchange student majoring in business management.

I don't think we had a connection or chemistry right away. I thought he was cute and very nice, but I didn't feel my heart skip a bit. We did spend the whole day together, but after the orientation, we said goodbye and went our own separate ways.

Seven months later (and 2 months before he was leaving), we accidentally met again. I was sitting in a coffee shop writing a report when he walked in. We talked for a bit, and then he asked if I wanted to hang out at his apartment that coming weekend, and he'd cook dinner for me. I said yes, of course.

We started hanging out after that. It wasn't anything serious, we just enjoyed each other's company. We were together for the last 2 and a half months of his stay here. We mostly just watched movies and hang out at the coffee shop. I never slept with him (Actually, nor with anyone before him. I came from a conservative family and listened to my Mom's preachings about staying virgin, until I finally decided enough already ;-)... but that would be on a different post), and thankfully, he never pressured me. I liked him a lot, but he was leaving so I kept my heart on guard. I knew he liked me too, but for the same reason, probably did the same thing. Eventually, he did leave for UK, leaving me with memories of a great friendship and wonderful shared kisses.

Anyway, a month after he left, I met the guy who made me see the world in an entirely new light and then caused me the most painful heartache in my life.

The Journey to Mr. Right, Part I

2009-09-25T09:50:00.009-04:00

I've got to admit, I have a colorful dating history. I've broken a number of hearts, and my heart had been broken a few times. With the experiences I had, you'd think I'd become jaded and never ever get married. But I believed in happy endings and finding the one destined for me. Eventually, I got to my destination and found Mr. Right, but it was a journey filled with bumps along the road and several detours. It was interesting... to say the least.

I wanna share with you some of my memorable past love stories (broken in several parts). I never regretted any of those guys I met, because in one way or another, they touched my life and taught me lessons I wouldn't have learned otherwise...

I met the guy who made my heart beat for the first time (not my first big love, though) during a chemistry class in my senior year in college. He was tall, dark and handsome, but he wasn't exactly my type. He had this macho, bad boy image that can trigger an alarm in any good girl's head. And it triggered mine.

For some unfathomable reasons though, he loved to seek out my company. He'd study with me in the library, ask me to go to lunch and dinners, watch movies and go shopping. He'd even come to my house and bring me chocolates! We spent so much time together, all of our friends started wondering what was going on. I started wondering too. I was falling for him, but didn't know what to make of our arrangement. Were we dating? Were we just hanging out? Was he my boyfriend? I was confused, but was too scared to initiate the talk. And he never said anything either.

We graduated from college and found jobs at that same university... I was an instructor, and he was a research assistant. We spent more time together. We took graduate classes together. But still, he won't say anything. Everything was so unclear, that I convinced myself we had an open relationship and was free to date other people. I did go out from time to time, but I'd always go back to him. In fact, all he had to do was call and I'd cancel any dates I had with other men. However, after two emotionally tiring years, I finally got fed up and decided to confront him. He told me I was the most special person in his life, but I could see that he wasn't ready to commit. It wasn't enough for me, so I decided then and there to say goodbye and move on with my life. I've already wasted 2 years of my life waiting for a guy who can't commit to me. Enough already !

I dated a bit right after that. The guys were crazy about me, but I couldn't feel a thing. I guess somehow, I was still a little bit hang up on him. Eventually though, I lost all the feelings and finally moved on.

Rumors surfaced several years later that he was gay. I don't know how true this was or how I really felt after I heard this story.

I guess, again, I'll never know until he comes out with the truth. But this time, I won't really care.

Next: Chapter II

Crossroads

2009-09-10T19:15:00.002-04:00

A few years ago, I came across a major crossroad in my life. I was pursuing a doctorate degree in chemistry, but my heart just wasn't in it anymore. I was restless and very unhappy. I've been in school for what feels like forever and was dying to move out. I wanted to move on to the professional world and live a different life. On top of that, I was reeling from the worst and most painful heartache I've ever experienced in my whole life. I had just broken up with a cheater boyfriend who happened to be my very first big love. I was utterly depressed and devastated. Needless to say, I felt an absolute need to leave the university and all things that reminded me of him.

But... the university was also my comfort zone. It was a place I've always been comfortable with. My friends were there and everything else that was familiar to me. Aside from that, I was scared of how my family would react if I quit my PhD studies.

I weighed the pros and cons, and mulled over my dilemma thoroughly. I went back and forth with indecision. Finally though, I made a decision to pursue my happiness. I quit my PhD studies and switched to the shorter Masterals. I've never been a quitter, but my heart was telling me it's time to make a change. I knew I was more than ready to leave the university and pursue a different life. Part of me felt that I was running away, but a bigger part tells me I need to start a new life. I wanted to be happy and I knew I won't be if I stayed there. Surprisingly, my family was very supportive of my decision. My parents told me to do what I think was best for me and what will make me happy.

It's been three years since and all I can say is... I'm glad I made that decision. I found a job right after I got my MS degree, and a year later met my husband. If I didn't, I would have graduated last fall and probably had been one of those people still searching for a good job due to the economic downturn. If I stayed in school, I probably had been miserable with the memories of the jerk instead of meeting the love of my life.

I admit that there are times when I'd have pangs of regret. Like that time when I attended my friends' graduation (the same time I would have graduated if I pursued PhD) and watched them walk on the stage, I thought for a moment, that would have been me. I would have walked on that stage and got my doctoral certificate. I would have been Dr. Chloie by now. But I think of all the good things that happened after I made my decision, and I forget all my regrets.

There are times in life when you reach a crossroad and the path ahead looks so uncertain. Just trust yourself and follow what your heart tells you. Sooner or later, you'll realize why you chose that path in the first place.

On Patriotism

2009-09-08T17:25:00.005-04:00

I'm not what you'd exactly call a very patriotic person.

I mean... I left the Philippines despite the ongoing brain drain to go and get a job abroad, I pay taxes to a different country, I married a foreigner, and bought a house in this foreign soil. And I don't think I would sacrifice my life for my country or for any patriotic reasons.

But... I do love my country.

I defend it whenever someone says something bad about it. I feel proud whenever I hear a fellow countryman like Manny Pacquiao bring honor to it. I donate money to our less fortunate. I do have plans of going back when I'm ready to retire. And I do still call it my real home.

But most of all, I've always dreamt of making a difference in it.

I like to think that in a small way, I did several years ago.

I joined a rally calling for the resignation of the then-president who was laundering people's money. The guy was an actor-turned-politician who won the election by campaining as the champion of the masses and the man who would get people out of proverty. Two years later, it turned out that he was the one who would put the country in more debt.

So I, together with some of my friends, decided to join the 3 day vigil to call for his resignation. We marched several miles and gathered in front of the church where several officials from the opposition party give their talk. We camped there day and night. I did go home at some point to change clothes and to make sure my parents would not worry, but I'd always come back. I had never felt as patriotic as I did during those times. There was a feeling of strong unity and bond between everybody, and it was amazing. I felt, for once in my life, that I was fighting for something I believed in. I felt that I was a part of something bigger than myself and I was fighting for a cause. When after three days, news broke out that the president finally resigned, we were crying with tears of joy. It was such a joyful moment. I was so happy at that time because, in a small way, I felt like I was part of my country's history. Honestly, I wasn't thrilled with the vice president who replaced him, but we had to concede that for that time being, she was the lesser of two evils. (Now, I'm not so sure anymore!)

Anyway, I wish that one day, I'd experience something that amazing again. I'm still not willing to die for patriotic reasons, but I do hope that some day I can really say that I made a big difference in my country.

Be Thankful

2009-09-03T22:18:00.004-04:00

My last post was such a downer that today, I decided to write something more inspiring! I feel much better now, thanks to positive thinking and to my blogger friends who left me some really encouraging remarks!

Sometimes when I'm worrying and stressing about a problem, I read astromy books. Weird I know, but they help remind me of how vast the universe is and of how, relatively, I am nothing but a microscopic dot with nanoscopic problems. They help put my thoughts in the right perspective.

If not, I read or watch the news. I read about how some amazing people bravely cope with the loss of friends or family through war or natural disasters. Of how some hardworking people struggle to find food in order to survive, or of how they deal with poverty with very little complains. It reminds me of how insignificant my problems are compared to other people. And it reminds me to be grateful for what I have instead of feeling sorry for myself.

So if you have a roof over your head, food to eat, a family who loves you, the next time you're stressing out, just think of all your blessings and how fortunate you still are compared to millions of people.

Emotional Wreck

2009-08-31T07:44:00.002-04:00

Whenever I write, I try to be as positive as I can. I try to be inspirational, and focus my writing on the brighter side of life. I know how a whiner sounds like, and it's not always pretty.

I apologize in advance because this is not one of those days.

Lately, I've been an emotional wreck. I think it's mostly hormonal, but I'm feeling kinda unhappy and restless.

First of all, I don't think I enjoy my job anymore. I feel like it's becoming stagnant, and that I'm not moving forward. I just don't enjoy my job as I used to. My projects are lacking in excitement and my boss is getting on my nerves. I know it's partly my restlessness nagging at me again, but I do feel that I need to work in a new lab, see new faces... be in a new environment. I want a different kind of challenge. I wish I could just move to a different state, but it's not that easy. We're building a house so I can't just find a job somewhere else (nor my husband can) and relocate. I have to stay and find a job here, but we all know that jobs are few and far between because of the economy.

Secondly, when will our baby come? We've been trying for months now and the roller coaster emotions of being hopeful and then having my hopes crushed every month is draining. I'm trying to relax and not worry too much about it, but it's not always easy.

Anyway, enough of my pathetic whining. I guess I just have to be patient for now, and just look at the bright side of life... Okay, I'll give it a try and remind myself of all my blessings....

Our house is almost done, we should be closing and moving in on the first week of October. I'll be posting pictures soon. It's amazing how fast the progress is! Ryan Homes started building it the middle of July and they'll already be done at the end of next month! Kudos to those guys!

My Mom is coming next month. I'm so excited to see her. I haven't seen her since her last vacation here which was more than two years ago. I think she will help get me out of my crabby disposition. She always know how to deal with me.

I have a husband who is a patient and loving man. He's been very understanding through all my mood swings. Sometimes I feel terrible because I seem to try to push him to the limit, but he still tries. Maybe I really am too independent that living with someone is such a huge adjustment for me. Anyway, I should just be thankful for having him in my life.

And of course, I still have loyal blog friends who continually stick with me through my sporadic writing, and now, through my pathetic whinings. I love you guys!

To Sis

2009-08-28T12:48:00.007-04:00

Exactly twenty seven years ago today, a beautiful baby girl was born. Although in my 3 year-old eyes, she was amazing, I was also aware that she's my competition and I will no longer be the sole apple of my parents' eyes.

Growing up, we had a rocky relationship. We loved each other fiercely, but like most kids, fought fiercely as well. We argued over toys, bickered over dresses, and made each other cry with hurtful childish remarks. Despite that, we had each other's back when somebody tries to hurt one of us, and never let anybody come between us. I protected her like a true older sister, and loved her with all my heart. She loved me strongly back, and though she only admitted it years later, I knew she looked up to me as a role model ;-).

We haven't always been together. I left home when I went to college and then left the country for graduate school. Our communication was mostly letters and phone calls, but I was sure that our bond will always be there.

And then a year ago, she also came to the United States to pursue graduate studies. Although we're 4 hours away from each other, we try to see each other every month and talk to each other almost everyday. I've never felt this close to her. It just seems like our bond even became stronger. I feel so blessed to have a sister like her.

She's just wonderful! She's a woman with a strong character. She's petite but she's feisty and determined. I've always admired how she goes after her dreams with such fervor. And she's very smart. All in all, she's just amazing!

So to Sis... happy birthday! I love you so much. I wish you all the best! I have faith that you'll get your doctorate degree with flying colors, and I'm praying that you'll find the right guy soon (",) who will cherish you for all the you are.

The Newly Wed Life

2009-08-26T09:29:00.006-04:00

No matter how well-prepared or well-equipped you think you might be for a married life, the truth is... nobody ever is. You might get all kinds of advices on how to deal with marriage, but until you experienced it yourself, you'll never know.

Don't get me wrong. I'm very happy, happier than I could ever be, and very much in love with my husband. I enjoy the moments we spend together and love the life we're building together.

But the newly-wed life is truly an adjustment period. It's when you really get to know the other person... what makes him tick, his idiosyncrasies, his little habits, etc; and vice versa. You might have an idea about these before, but after you're married, they become magnified because you now live together. If before you can retreat to your apartment whenever you have an argument and get mad, now you gotta face it and deal with it.

I've known my husband a year and a half before we were married. Although we didn't live together before that, we spent most of our free times - especially weekends - together. I've known him quite well... he never hid anything from me, nor I from him. I've known his every habit as well as his idiosyncrasies. But... I'm a moody person. I wish I could change that, but I can't. My moods affect my way of thinking. When I'm in a good mood, he can tease me about a bad hair day and I won't take offense, he can buy yet another new rim for his beloved sports car and I won't get mad, or we can go to an nth reunion with his family and I would willingly go. But, when I'm in a cranky mood intensified by female hormones, it's a different story. I'd have a low threshold of patience and could get irritated with small things. Before, I'd usually just go home to my apartment and let the feelings subside gradually, but now, I have to try to control my emotions and deal with the irrritation really fast.

Fortunately, I do have a husband who's very patient and who's trying to adjust to my mood swings as best as he can. He's learned to leave me alone when I'm cranky and in a bad mood. He is the sweetest guy I've ever known. Granted that he's a cleanliness freak who loves his cars, drags me to far too many family reunions than I care for, and acts like a big baby at times, he however, does household chores, gives me flowers, takes care of me and loves me to death.

Honestly, I couldn't ask for a better man. I know we're still in the adjustment period, but everyday, it gets better and better. I sure won't trade my life with him for anything in this world!

Following Your Own Advice

2009-07-26T18:46:00.003-04:00

Why is it always so easy to give other people advices yet so hard to follow your own?

I take pride in being the one my friends usually come to or call whenever they have problems. My friends think I'm a rational person with full of good advices. To them, I seem to always know the right words to say to make them feel better, or come up with solutions to their problem.

The irony is, when it comes to my troubles, I have a hard time following my own advice. I usually know the right thing to do, yet can't seem to do it. Most of the time, I'm overcome with emotions that logical reasoning just fly out of the window. I hate to admit it, but my heart rule over my head sometimes... maybe most of the times. I make decisons based on what my heart feels, not on what my head tells me. Although in some instances, it has done me good, it has been my downfall in others.

I know I'm not the only one who struggles with this. A lot of people do, most especially women. The thing is, it's usually easier to see the picture when you're not in it... when you're from the outside looking on the inside. It's easier, because emotions don't cloud your judgement.

So my blog friends, do you have problem of following your own advice?

Quantity vs. Quality

2009-07-22T19:48:00.000-04:00

When I was a teenager, I used to equate quantity with success.

I measured my accomplishments by how many competitions I won and how many awards I got at the end of the school year. I measured my popularity by how many schoolmates knew me and how many friends I had. I measured my attractiveness by how many boys asked me on a date and how many guys I have kissed. I was happy and proud whenever I feel like I have The Number.

Years later, I grew up and came to a realization.

It didn't matter how many awards I won unless I win the grand prize. The number of friends I have didn't matter unless they're the true definition of best friends. It didn't matter how many guys liked me if they're not the guys I like.

There are successes that I still equate to quantity today, though. It's not the number of people, money or things any longer, but the number of years. I count the number of years I struggled as a graduate student, the number of years I've been working as a fulfilled chemist and the number of years I was happy with a guy.

Years from now, I will be happy when I can say I've been blissfully married for fifty years now. That to me is a success.

A Week in Review

2009-07-19T17:32:00.002-04:00

Honestly, I feel a little out of sort this week, especially last Monday. It must be my hormones... but I was really moody and stressed out. Things perked up as the week progressed and by the weekend, I was in a good mood. Anyway, here's a recap of my week...

* Called IRS for the third time to check on the status of our first-time homebuyer's tax credit (since I mailed it last April 27). The first time I called them, they said it takes 6 to 8 weeks to process the refund. So I called them again on the 8th week, and they told me it can take 8 to 12 weeks. This week -the 12th week-, I called yet again, and guess what they said? It can take 12 to 16 weeks!!! WTH???

* Work, work, work. Started a new project researching for biocides that I can formulate with our products to prevent the growth of fungi and bacteria. Exciting work, but all these chemicals that I deal with scares me a bit since we're planning to have a baby. I guess I just gotta be extra careful.

* Went to a Hamburger Festival (yes, there's such a thing ;-) ) with Hubs. Good food and good music. Basically, I was happy it was the weekend.

* Discovered a canoe livery 20 minutes away from home, and spent 2 hours canoeing. It was fun, except for the part where we got stuck for 3 minutes trying to get out of the shallow part of the river. I enjoyed the whole thing though!

Now I'm all ready for the week ahead. Hope everybody enjoyed their weekend!

Insecurities

2009-07-17T07:52:00.005-04:00

I've never known anybody who doesn't have any insecurities. Granted that I've never met a supermodel or a millionaire CEO, but still... I can guarantee that those people have, in one way or another, things about themselves that they're not too confident about.

I've got to admit, I have mine as well. I'd say that they were worse when I was a young kid, but I learned to overcome some of them as I grew older.

I grew up having a cousin my age who's moviestar pretty. We used to be compared a lot. I was called the brainy one and she, the pretty one. It rankled a bit when all my relatives would coo about how adorable she looks just standing there, while I have to recite a poem or let my parents brag about my school accomplishments to get noticed. That didn't bode very well for my ego. I started feeling very unattractive. Fortunately, I have parents who always assured me I'm pretty as well as very smart. That somehow gave me a boost, but I still felt inadequate.

Things started to change a little when I went to high school, and boys started noticing me. In my mind, I began to think that maybe I wasn't such an ugly duckling after all. Things perked up even more when I became popular in school. I shed my insecurities bit by bit, and became more confident as I grew older and wiser.

That is... until several years after, when I felt madly in love, and got cheated on.

Suddenly, all my insecurities came rushing back to the surface. I felt like I was being compared again, and found lacking. I felt that I wasn't good enough, and wondered what was wrong with me. It took me a while to get over it. I had to do a lot of soul searching and self-esteem building. But I did come out of it... stronger and more confident.

I'd admit that I still have insecurities from time to time. I guess most of them were born out of my constant desire to be perfect. I know nobody is, but it's not always easy to demand less of yourself and just relax. The one thing that I try to keep in mind now, is that I have a family and a husband who loves me for everything I am... and that, is the best reassurance ever.

But, on times that I do feel uncertain of myself or when I feel judged by others, I try to remember a quote from Eleanor Roosevelt...

"Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent."

The In-Laws

2009-07-14T14:38:00.004-04:00

Whenever we hear of the word in-laws, the first visions that come to mind (at least for me) are Deborah's meddling mother-in-law and weird father-in-law in the show 'Everybody Loves Raymond.' They were representations of how some (if not a lot) of in-laws, including that of my friends' and even my mother's, act towards them. They weren't exactly pretty pictures, and I grew up dreading what my future in-laws would be.

That is, until I finally met mine.

My mother-in-law is one of the best women I've ever known. She has a heart of gold! You can see it by the way she deals with her family and friends. She's very patient and loving. And best of all, she loves me! She definitely acts like my second mother. We talk on the phone every week and I get spoiled on Christmas days and birthdays. She's a really sweet woman with a genuine heart.

My father-in-law is great as well. He gets a little grumpy towards the grandkids from time to time, but he's a very sweet man. We have the same taste in books so he buys them for me sometimes ;-).

They say that when you marry a man, you marry his family. I'm glad I'm married to this one.

Restlessness

2009-07-13T09:28:00.007-04:00

My mother told people when I was a kid that I'd grow up to be a restless person. This was based on an observation that I couldn't sit still when I was a baby, and that even when I'm supposedly resting in her arms, my feet were still in constant motion.

As it turned out, she had never uttered a truer statement.

Here I am several years later, definitely a restless soul. I don't know why but I always have a burning need to feel that my life is in a constant motion and not settling into a routine. I crave change and am so scared of getting stuck in a rut.

My husband used to tease me about the dreams and plans that I seem to constantly make. It took him a while to realize that I needed to make them to feel that I have something to look forward to. Even when my life seems to be the picture of perfect contenment, I still feel the need to know that my life will continually progress. The worst part is, I'm so restless I can't wait for the plan to come true so I can make another one.

Believe it or not, I always have a five-year plan.

I did come to realize, however, that things don't always go according to plans. Especially as you grow older and things become more complicated and out of your control.

When I was younger, it was easier to follow them. Go to one of the best universities in my country and get a chemistry degree in four years... check. Pass the licensure test in a year... check. Teach for four years... check. Go to a graduate school in US... check.

Although I can still put check marks on most of my dreams now, they don't always follow the path or order I set them to. Somehow, someway, other things happen and I needed to take a detour. I know that's how life is, and I'm very spontaneous when it comes to small things -like where we're gonna go for a vacation, what we'll be doing that weekend, etc -, but when it comes to life-altering plans, I take them so seriously, I just feel the need to plan ahead. And sometimes, it can get frustrating when the plans that you make don't always happen the way you planned them to be.

Allow me to explain.

After Hubs and I got engaged, I made a five-year plan. We were gonna have two weddings, have a baby, buy a house, then have another baby... in that order. But then, the US economic downturn happens, and for fear of the instability our jobs, we decided to forgo a big wedding here and just go to the courthouse and get married earlier. Then comes the first-time homebuyer's credit for people who wanna buy a house this year, and so we decided to buy one, and again, move our official wedding in my country to next year. However, I didn't feel like waiting for almost two years (after the big wedding) to have a baby, and so two months ago, we started trying to have one. So far, we're not having any success and I'm becoming frustrated. I know I just need to be patient, and believe that God will give him/her to me when the right moment comes. All things happen for a reason, right?

Anyway, enough of my silliness. I haven't blogged in more than a month and yet here I am, talking about my frustrations. Actually, most of the time I'm very happy. Married life is everything I hoped it would be. My husband is wonderful and amazing! I love him more every single day. Last week I celebrated my 30th birthday, and I came home to a dozen rozes, a new laptop and the sweetest card ever! He took me to a dinner/dance cruise and had a blast. Honestly I can't ask for a better husband. The last four months have been the happiest of my life. I won't say it's always easy (what is, anyway?), but it's been great most of the time.

I do apologise to all my bloggy friends for being a slacker - especially to AD who wrote me a sweet note of how she misses me during my absence ( I have such great bloggy friends!). My job is taking a lot of my time these days (I work in research so I have to come up with innovative products to stay competitive in our business), as well as our house-to-be and baby (",) project. And also, to be honest, I feel like my mind is in a blog rut. I have topics to right about, but I can't seem to start. I think I might have found the inspiration to write again, so hopefully my blog friends won't abandon me.

A Good Year

2009-05-22T23:37:00.003-04:00

This year, 2009, is a milestone year for me. My life has changed- and continuously changes- in so many amazing ways, I could almost believe I'm dreaming. There are times when I just wanna sit and wonder how I got to be so fortunate and so blessed.

This year, I married the love of my life. After a year and a half of being together, we tied the knot and had never felt happier. Although we're still going through an adjustment period, we're blissful and so in love, the transition feels effortless.

This year, two of my papers from graduate school got published in scientific journals. Although I'm not looking for a new job right now, they would look really good in my resume - if or when I decide to do so. My family and my husband are so proud, I feel that my hardwork and efforts in graduate school paid off.

This year, we signed up with Ryan Homes to build a new house. Yes, we're gonna have a brand new house!!! It will be done at the end of September and I definitely can't wait! Hubs and I are so excited about it, we're already talking of furnitures and how we're gonna paint and decorate it.

This year, I'm turning thirty. I know I'm getting older and all, but I choose to see this as a blessing. With age, comes maturity and wisdom. It's a new decade of my life and a beginning of a new chapter. I've accepted the fact that my youth is over, and is more than ready to embrace the life ahead of me.

This year, I will get to see my family. We were supposed to go to my country for our big wedding, but after purchasing our new house, Hubs and I decided to move our wedding a few more months so we'll have more money to pretty up our home. I didn't want my parents to be too disappointed so I decided to just fly them here for the Christmas season.

This year, is definitely a good year.

Sidenote, on an entirely different topic (I just have to write this): I'm not a big sports fan but I love Cavaliers, and of course... Lebron James. He's just so amazing! And tonight, he just showed how amazing he can be! Go Cavs!

I know I haven't blog in a while, but I've been so busy with work and with our upcoming house I couldn't find a lot of time to sit down and write. But I do read all your wonderful blogs, even though I couldn't comment that often. I hope you all have a great Memorial Day weekend!!!

Transition

2009-04-27T13:03:00.005-04:00

When the closest experience you had of having a guy roommate is a one-week life with a friend who needed a temporary lodging, it takes a while to adjust to the concept of permanently sharing a house with someone. Of seeing that someone everyday of your life. Of asking for or being considerate of someone's opinion when it comes to household decisions. Even if that someone turns out to be... your husband.

I've lived alone and independently the last five years of my life. I had boyfriends (one at a time, of course) but I never lived with any of them. I had my own apartment and was happy being the queen of it. I go home whenever I want to, I cook whenever I feel like it, I do household chores whenever the mood strikes. A friend would call and ask me to meet him/her at the coffee shop, and off I'd go. I don't worry about sharing my bathroom or closet space with anybody. I don't worry about another person's taste in the apartment's decoration. In fact, as selfish as it sounds, when I'm home, I worry about nobody else but me.

Getting married and moving in together changed all that. But as much as I expected the changes, transitioning from a single life to a married one still caught me a bit off guard. I've been so used to living by myself that sometimes it doesn't register right away that not all the closet spaces are mine, that I can't just throw my clothes wherever I want to - even when I'm tired (because my husband is a cleanliness-freak), nor can I decorate my apartment with floral designs. I also do need to call my husband if I wanna work late or go out with my friends.

But more than house sharing, marriage is sharing a life together. That means I can't go spending all my money on clothes or leisurely travel on a whim anymore... because I have a future house and family to think of!

Sure, it takes only 15 minutes and a piece of paper to legally change your status from a single to a married lady, but it takes a few weeks, maybe months, for the i'm-a-married-woman-mindset to take effect!

But.... I wouldn't trade my life now for anything in the world. I felt that I've matured and officially became an adult. I'm learning to be a part of a couple, and I feel how it is to really belong. I'm learning to think more for the future that we (not just I) are planning to build. And believe it or not, I'm learning to be more domesticated. For some reasons, I'm starting to truly enjoy it. My husband makes it easier and more fun by sharing the household chores. And frankly, I coudn't wish for a better life than this!

Like most things in life, transition isn't always easy. But when you're blissful, it feels effortless.

30 Things

2009-04-20T13:44:00.005-04:00

Just in time for my fast approaching 30th birthday (in a couple of months), I found this article written by Pamela Satran way back in 1997 (Glamour Magazine). I read it and fell in love with it. Just wanna share it with you...

30 Things a Woman Should Have... and Should Know by the Time She's 30....

SHOULD HAVE
* one old boyfriend you can imagine going back to and one who reminds you of how far you've come. (I love to believe I do)
*enough money within your control to move out and rent a place of your own, even if you never want to or need to. (Check)
* something perfect to wear if the employer or the man of your dreams wants to see you in an hour. (Always)
*a purse, suitcase and an umbrella you're not ashamed to be seen carrying. (Check)
* a youth you're contented to move beyond. (Fine!)
* a past juicy enough that you're looking forward to retelling it in your old age. (I think so!)
*the realization that you're actually going to have an old age and some money set aside to fund it. (Working on it)
*a set of screw driver, cordless drill and a black lace underwear. (Check)
*one friend who always make you laugh and one who lets your cry. (Check)
*a good piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone else in your family. (Check)
*eight matching plates, wineglasses with stems and a recipe for a meal that will make your guests feel honored. (Not really a good cook, so I'll pass ;-) )
* a resume that is not in the least bit padded. (Check)
*a feeling of control over your destiny. (A little bit)
* a skin regime, an exercise routine and a plan for dealing with those few other facets of life that don't get better after 30. (Kinda... if only I'd move my lazy butt more often to exercise)
*a solid start on a satisfying career, a satisfying relationship and all those facets of life that do get better. (Check)

SHOULD KNOW
*how to fall in love without losing yourself. (Kinda... )
*how you feel about having kids. (Definitely)
* how to quit a job, break up with a man, and confront a friend without ruining the friendship. (still hazy on the last one)
*when to try harder and when to walk away. (Kinda)
* how to kiss a man in a way that communicates perfectly what you would and wouldn't like to happen next. (Heck, yeah!)
*how to have a good time at a party you'd never chose to attend. (Check)
* how to ask for what you want in a way that makes it most likely you'll get it. (Check)
*that you can't change the length of your calves, the width of your hips or the nature of your parents. (Check)
* that your childhood may not have been perfect but it's over. (Unfortunately, yes.)
*what you would and wouldn't do for love or more. (Oh, yeah)
*how to live alone even if you don't like it. (I used to be Miss Independent)
*who you can trust, who you can't and why you shouldn't take it personally. (still learning)
* where to go ( be it your bestfriend's kitchen or a charming inn hidden in the woods) when your soul needs searching. (Definitely!)
*what you can and can't accomplish in a day, a month or a year. (Check)
*why they say life begins at 30. (Check, check, check!)

Love Knows No Cultural Boundaries

2009-04-13T08:49:00.011-04:00

Never in my wildest childhood dreams did it occur to me, that I would someday travel thousands of miles away from home and meet my prince in a far, far away land. I've always thought that my knight in shining armor would be someone from my own country with the same culture, who eats the same food and speak the same language. I preferred it that way, since I thought that the connection and understanding between us would be better.

I came to the United States several years ago armed with that thought. Even though I was coming to a foreign soil, I hoped and prayed that I would still meet someone from my own land.

Somewhere along the way however, I met a guy with a different culture who opened my eyes to an entirely new way of thinking. He showed me that love knows no cultural or racial boundaries. We might each have different skin colors, eat different foods or observe different traditions, but deep inside, we're all humans who have the same ability to love, care for and connect with other human beings. It doesn't matter where you're from, the emotions that run through all our veins are the same. Although my relationship with him ended, I learned so much from him. He taught me, more than anything, to be more open-minded.

And so, I found happy ending in my real destined prince from this faraway land. Sure, he loves pizza and I love rice, he's crazy about football and I don't understand a thing about it, I speak a language he has no clue about, but... love holds us firm and strong. The truth is, we are much more similar than we are different. We have the same religious belief (which is that, we believe in God but not so much in religion), we both love to travel and hike, we agree on how to handle our finances, and we have the same visions for the future. More than that, he has all the qualities I look for in a guy... gorgeous, very smart, completely sweet, loves me unconditionally, knows how and when to say sorry, does his share of household chores... heck, what more can I ask for? His family even loves me like their own and make me feel like I really belong!

But most importantly, he and I have high respect for each other's cultures and has no difficulty on blending the two in our one shared life.

We still get the look from narrow-minded people occasionally (which I'm sure would also happen when I take him to the Philippines). But who cares? I know one thing for sure...

Love knows no racial or cultural boundaries. In fact, love knows NO boundaries.

Of Men, Dating and Love

2009-04-10T12:55:00.006-04:00

For women's eyes only ;-)

I'm not a Men or Dating Expert. I'd be honest and say that I did date a number of guys on my search for Mr. Right (as I'm sure most of you did), but I don't think that makes me an expert. I can say however, that with each dating mishap and/or experience, I tried to learn as much as I can, and made sure that I won't repeat the same mistake over and over again. And now that I have left the dating world behind, I wanna share the lessons I've learned (and still learning) about men, dating and love in general. Feel free to add yours...

*There's no such thing as love at first sight. Love takes time to blossom and flourish. Love is when you know the person (really know him... which takes time), and can accept him for everything he is - flaws and all. Dont confuse lust or attraction with love.

*Don't date just because you're bored, afraid of being single or because the guy's nice. Date a guy because you can feel the chemistry between the two of you. Trust me, you'll end up happier.

*Most men are big babies. No matter what age they are. They wanna be cuddled, shown affection and unconditionally loved... but then again, who the heck doesn't?

*No matter what they say, men love to chase (or at least be challenged) and women loves being chased. There's a right amount of chasing though, so be careful. Too many games can ruin what might be a good relationship.

* If a guy is really into you, you'll know. (Remember the movie, He's Not That Into You? So true! And I love that movie, btw!) Pay attention to his actions, not his words.

* Don't waste your time on a guy who's not that into you thinking you can change his mind. There's a 95% chance he won't. Life is too short to waste it on the wrong person.

* Men will always look at, or notice, an attractive women - even if they're already in a relationship. They can't help it, they're inherently visual creatures. But it doesn't mean that they love you less, so don't get jealous. Besides, let's be honest... don't we notice attractive men, as well?

* Men wanna be with women who are attractive to them. They have different ideas of beauty though, so even if you're not Angelina Jolie or Heidi Klum look alike... no worries. You're attractive to your man!

* A lot of men don't have an idea of how to really romance a woman the way women want them to. They usually have a different idea. So if you want something, you gotta ask for it. If your guy listens and wants to please you, then you know you've got a good man who loves you.

Ladies, what have you learned from dating?

Taking Risks

2009-04-02T08:04:00.005-04:00

Let's say you're traveling on a forest and reached a crossroad where you have to choose between two routes that lead to your destination. One is a safer, beaten path, with fewer obstacles along the way. It leads straight to your destination, but the view is anything but spectacular. The other is a more difficult, longer route but with the most amazing sights you'll ever see and the possibility of the most exciting journey you'll ever go through. Which route would you take?

I'd take the second route without hesitation.

I'd take the riskier and more exciting route because that is the only way to live life to the fullest. Life is too short to be wasted on dull, uneventful moments. It might be more dangerous and you might be slowed down by more obstacles, but then, the obstacles are what make victory sweeter in the end. When you finally reach your destination, your feeling of fulfillment could never be equaled.

I took the biggest risk of my life when I moved thousand of miles away from home to a different, unfamiliar place where I didn't know anybody and wasn't sure if I'd make it. I had a succesful job in my country, a family who loves me, a guy who adores me and a network of wonderful friends. But I left everything behind to pursue my dream of going to graduate school and starting an independent life. It was absolutely tough in the beginning. I spent nights crying of homesickness, but the fighter in me decided to hang on. As a result, I got my graduate degree, found an even greater job and met the true man of my dreams. I've never felt happier and more fulfilled.

And I'd rather take the risks than live the rest of my life asking questions of what if? Life is full of crossroads that require you to make decisions. You might make the wrong ones and fail, but the more important thing is, you took the risk. In truth, the biggest regrets in our lives are the risks we didn't take. Don't be a person who has to look back and wonder what they would have been or could have had. Move out of your comfort zone. There are only a few things in this world that can never be retrieved, and one of them is neglected opportunities.

The thing is, life is a one way street. No matter how many detours you take, none of them leads back. So take the more exciting road because you'll never pass that way again. And never allow failure to hinder you from reaching your destination. If on the way, you trip, just get up and move on. Move on stronger and wiser.

Don't allow life to be simply a journey, make it an adventure!

Say Hello...

2009-03-29T19:05:00.002-04:00

... to a married woman!

Yes, I did get married at the courthouse on St. Patrick's Day. The ceremony was short... it was over in 15 minutes! It was just the two of us that day, but we're planning to have a small reception with Husband's family sometime during the summer. Anyway, for our mini-honeymoon, we went to Chicago, and had a wonderful time.

People had been asking me if I felt different after getting married.

Honestly?... I don't feel any different!

I don't know if it's because I don't exactly have my big wedding yet or if there's really no difference. Sometimes, I think movies and fairy tales make too much of weddings and marriages, but in reality it's not as idealistic or as dreamy as it seems. Really... how am I supposed to feel? I knew I already love my husband very much before I married him. I don't know if it's possible to love him any more than I already do. The only difference that I know of and feel now, is that I see him everyday. I wake up every morning beside him and go home to him every night. And I do agree... that is a wondeful feeling! I guess you can say that getting married gives you more stability and a feeling of security. .. The thought that whatever happens, your spouse would be there to love and support you. But the thing is, I've always felt that way with my husband ever since I've known him. Getting married basically, just makes it official.

But I can say that I am absolutely happy. I still need to get used to calling him my husband and being referred to as his wife, but I'm getting there. He's been a great husband so far. Two days ago, he came home early and had dinner ready for me. And yesterday, he went to the grocery store and bought things he knew I would like, as well as gave me a very sweet card!

Well, if this is what married life's like, I definitely can get used to it!

First Ticket

2009-03-12T07:47:00.008-04:00

I'm temporarily breaking my hibernation to post a short rant.

A cop gave me my first ticket yesterday. Yes, my very first. I'm usually a law-abiding citizen. ;-)

And no, it's not for speeding!

It's for talking on the phone while driving!!! Yes, seriously! How the heck am I supposed to know that I was driving by one of the very few cities in Ohio that imposes the 'no talking while driving' law? Okay, I know, I know! With or without law, I shouldn't be doing that in the first place, so I guess that should teach me two lessons.

(1) Don't talk while driving!
(2) Pay attention to road signs (big or small)!

And you know what the irony is? I was actually at the store thinking of buying a Bluetooth last weekend (you know, that thing you use on your ear that makes other people feel stupid thinking you're talking to them and then realizing you're not?), but decided to put it off and save money for our Chicago trip. Well, I'm definitely spending money to buy one now, in addition to paying a $105 fee! Ugh!

Busy Life

2009-03-07T07:11:00.007-05:00

I haven't been posting as much as I usually to do. And I apologize.

March is proving to be such a busy month for me. First of all, I'm getting married at the courthouse in 10 days. Yes, 10 days! On St. Patricks day! Fiance and I went to get our marriage license last week and scheduled our wedding. Turned out that was the only day during the week we wanted, that the courthouse would perform weddings. So we decided we might as well set it that day. Kinda unromantic I know, but I don't consider that my real wedding (the real one's on January, 2010) so it's not a big deal for me. (Read this and this for my wedding plans.)

Secondly, I'm moving to Fiance's apartment in a few weeks. And do you know how much pain packing is? Now I understand why there's such a thing as Movers. They make life easy! But we gotta save money to buy a house so I had no choice but to move my lazy butt and do it myself.

Third, I have to go to Chicago in a few days to do some lab testing for my job. Fiance decided to tag along so we'll be spending next weekend in that beautiful place.

And did I tell you that our company reorganized everybody's offices and cubicles? Now my cube is in front of my boss' office and directly in his line of sight! You know what that means, don't you? No more blogging on workdays for me! :-)

I do promise however, that I'll try my very best to post from time to time and read all your wonderful blogs.

Acceptance

2009-03-03T07:50:00.003-05:00

Acceptance. Theoretically, it seems so easy, but in reality, it's one of the hardest thing to do in life. How do you accept and take the pain when your heart gets broken, the sorrow when a family member dies or the bitter taste of defeat? It's human nature to feel these emotions! Emotions brought about by things we have no control of, things we feel completely powerless about... but things we desperately wish would never happen to us.

I struggled so hard with acceptance when I was a kid. I've always been involved in all sorts of competitions - academic or otherwise. But as with all competitions, it's either you win or you lose. When you win, of course, acceptance is easy! But when you lose, it's a different story. Your mind goes through all the things you did and try to analyze what you did wrong. I was a competitive kid, and it took me a while to stop beating myself up and accept that I won't win all battles. All I can do is be more prepared the next time and do better.

Fast forward to the present. I learned to be more accepting though the course of years. I've learned that not everthing in life goes according to my plans or what I want, and was able to accept the outcome wholeheartedly. The key is just looking at the brighter side and accepting that it's just part of life. And believing there's a reason why it happened that way. I do admit that there are times when I still struggle with acceptance. But I did come to grips and accept facts like...

... I can't sing for the life of me.

... I would only grow to be 5'2 tall, and not an inch taller.

... you might be a popular girl in highschool but the boy you like might still not like you.

... some high school teachers do practice favoritism and you won't always be a favorite.

... awkwardness is part of growing up.

... nothing in life comes easy. You have to study and work hard to achieve your dreams.

... you'll come across some b*tchy and mean people once in a while.

... you'll go through a series of heartbreaks before you find Mr. Right.

... there's no such thing as a Perfect Man.

... you can't be perfect either.

... the people you love won't always be around ( so you have to tell them how much you love them while they're still here).

... you won't always have everything you want.

... you can't avoid embarassing situations.

... pain and heartaches make you stronger. No pain, no gain.

I believe that acceptance is a state of mind. It is a choice. A choice that is hard to make but with willpower, is achievable. If not, I guess we can just always pray...

"God, give me the serenity to accept the things I can not change..."

My bloggy friends, what have you learned to accept over the years?

Falling Out of Love

2009-02-27T07:49:00.006-05:00

If I hadn't been a witness to a love that slowly disintegrated right before my very eyes, I would have stood by the belief that love don't die a natural death. Before I met my fiance, I've fallen in love two times in my life. And though the love I felt might not be as intense as the one I have for Fiance now, they were still love in the purest form. When things didn't work out, we broke up, and I spent several weeks making conscious efforts to fall out of love. Efforts that included temporarily hating the ex(es) and listing reasons of why I shouldn't be with them. Efforts that were facilitated by months of absolutely no communication. Efforts that proved it takes hard work to fall out of love.

Watching my parents love for each other fade inch by inch was an eye opener for me. I realized that staying in love for several years after you're married takes even more effort. Having been an idealistic kid, I've always thought that love never ends and people live happily ever after. For years, I harbored hope that the arguments I witnessed were temporary setbacks due to monetary issues and the pressures of raising 3 demanding kids. Years later though, when money wasn't an issue anymore and we've all grown into successful adults, I had no choice but to finally accept the glaring truth: my parents don't love each other anymore. Somewhere along the way, in their efforts to provide us a better life, they started taking each other for granted until they just couldn't fulfill each others emotional needs any longer. That paved the way to slowly falling out of love until finally, there's no (or little) love lost between the two of them. (I still have a bit of hope though!)

And if you ask me, doesn't this make me feel scared to get married?... This, together with the high divorce rates nowadays??!! Of course, it does! But as crazy as it sounds, I believe that I've learned from my parents' mistakes. I've learned not to take your partner for granted and to show your love every single day. I've learned that nothing - absolutely nothing- in this world should be big enough to come between the two of you.

Falling in love is easy, but staying in love takes work. That's why marriage is a leap of faith. Faith, coupled with determination, that your love will endure the test of time, and get past the hurdles of having babies, worrying over every little problem and staying together through thick and thin. I know there's no absolute guarantee, but I believe that when you get married (as long as there's no physical and mental abuse), falling out of love shouldn't be an option!

10 Things

2009-02-24T20:47:00.002-05:00

I got another award, yay! This one's from a really cute blog (as well as blogger), Girl With the Big Brown Eyes. (Takes one to know one, right? :-) ) Thanks, Bambola!

10 (Not Necessarily Cute) Things About Me

1. I am the eldest of three children. My sister's 3 years younger than me, while my brother's 5 years younger. We're all in the science field, and our biggest dream is having our very own laboratory some day. (Yes, we can dream!).... Oh, and all our first names start with a letter C!

2. I'm passionate and emotional. Not to mention, moody! In short...I'm a woman.

3. I'm a dancer-wanna-be. I don't think I really dance that well, but who cares? I LOVE dancing! Especially, Latin and belly dances!

4. I graduated from college when I was 20 and became a chemistry instructor for four years. I love teaching! I think I might go back to doing it someday.

5. When I was 11 years old, I underwent an operation to remove a cyst which the doctors thought had a possibility of becoming malignant. I've been perfectly healthy ever since.

6. I'm only five foot two, but according to Fiance and the guys I dated... a five foot two hottie. :-) (Please let me brag, this blog is anonymous anyway!)

7. I'm more of a career woman than a domesticated wife-to-be. Good thing I have a great fiance who knows how to cook, washes his own clothes, do the dishes on occasions that I do cook, and loves me for who I am.

8. I'm a bookworm. Most of the guys I dated said they've never met a woman who loves books as much as I do. (They just haven't met you, my bloggy friends, yet!) Fiance and I made a compromise that when we buy a house, he'll have the basement as his gym and I'll have one of the rooms as my library.

9. There's just something about beaches that makes me feel so happy and totally at peace. I love everything related to it! I love the smell of the water and the sound of the ocean waves! I love all the activities you can do in it - watching sunset, kayaking, jet skiing, swimming, scuba diving! I'm fulfilling my dream of getting married by the beach in a few months, and I dream of owning a beach house someday.

10. My family and fiance are my life. Enough said.

Now onto the other 10 (+2) cute bloggers....

Americanising Desi at Life or Something Like It
Sassy Britches
Floreta at The Solitary Panda
Alice at Mindless Rambling of a 26 Year Old
A Balancing Act in Heels
The Other K Wick
Random Moments at Another Day in the Same Life
Laura at My Thoughts Uninterrupted
SheBloggs
MoGiggles88
Western Mama with a New York Heart
{Pretty Pink Blogette}

A Tribute to Atom

2009-02-23T12:11:00.008-05:00

Before you decide to skip this post, let me assure you that I'm not going to be geeky and discuss molecules and atoms. Atom is the name of my beautiful, tabby cat. (Although, come to think of it, who else but a geek would name her cat Atom? But.... on my defense, I named him after my gorgeous college 'crush' who apparently has geeky parents!)

This weekend I'm giving up Atom to a friend. I'm letting him go with a real heavy heart.

I still remember the first time I saw him. It was four years ago in an animal shelter close to where I live. The decision to go there and adopt a cat was an impulse. An impulse born out of a childish vengeance. A vengeance on a cheater ex-boyfriend who was severely allergic to cats. It was my immature way of letting him know he's never welcome in my apartment ever again, and a desperate reminder to myself that I won't be foolish as to let him weaken my resolve not to let him in my life again (since I really don't wanna be sued if I let him stay in my apartment and he ends up in a hospital :-) ) . Crazy, I know, but when you're high on emotions and pent-up anger, you'd do crazy things. Don't get me wrong, I really love cats but I never thought I'd have the time to take care of one - as graduate school keep me busy enough! But I needed a reason for the Ex to stop pestering me. And living in my apartment heartbroken and lonely, I needed any breathing thing to keep me company. Roommates cause complications so I did the next best thing... get a cat.

Atom was a quiet cat when I met him. Having lived inside a cage for several months, he wasn't used to people. He wouldn't allow me to touch him, would hide in the cabinet and would only come out in the middle of the night when I'm sleeping. I practiced extreme patience, and little by little, he started warming up to me, until he finally fell in love with me. Now, four years later, he'd wait by the door when he hears my keys and wouldn't get off my lap even when I try to force him. We've been through a lot together. I took him with me when I moved to Pennsylvania after graduate school, and again when I moved back to Ohio.

But unfortunately, karma does exist. Who would have thought that years later I would again fall in love with another guy who's also allergic to cats? Once again I'm heartbroken, because now, I've got to give up my beloved cat who's been with me through most of my life here in US! (Ah, the things we do for love!) I used to tease Fiance, ' Hhmm... Atom or Fiance? Tough decision, huh?'

Well, at least I'm giving Atom to a friend. That way I can take him back in case, you know... (I'm just kidding!)

Anyway, to cheer me up, Fiance promised to get me a dog when we buy our house. :-)

Dear Tech Support

2009-02-18T12:15:00.004-05:00

A co-worker sent this to me this morning. Thought I'd share it with you to brighten your day, especially the people who put up with my rants yesterday. Thanks guys!

Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewellery applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as
CNN 5.0, CRICKET 3.0 and POLITICS 4.1.

Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system.

Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.

What can I do?

Signed,
Desperate

DEAR DESPERATE,

First, keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system. Please enter command: ithoughtyoulovedme.html and try to download Tears 6.2 and do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update.

If that application works as designed, Husband1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewellery 2.0 and Flowers 3.5. However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1. Please note that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Farting and Snoring Loudly Beta.

Whatever you do, DO NOT under any circumstances install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.)

In addition, please do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance.

We recommend:
Cooking 3.0
and Hot Lingerie 7.7.

Good Luck !
Tech Support

Where is the Love?

2009-02-17T11:06:00.007-05:00

I grew up having a strong faith in humanity. I believe in the inherent good side of people, until they prove me otherwise. My family had been through a lot when I was young, yet I continued to stick with my belief for several years.

Lately however, some people are starting to make me question my wholehearted faith in mankind. I don't know if it was just me growing old, losing my naivety and facing reality, but it seems as though I'm meeting a number of people who are showing their not-so-angelic sides.

Here are examples of people that get to me...

Gossipers. I've come to realize that people love to gossip. It doesn't matter what their nationalities or genders are (believe me, men love to gossip as much as, if not more than, women), people love talking about other people. I would say in some instances, it's okay... such as when you're discussing a concern about a friend or a family member (though I won't really call that gossip!). But if you're doing it out of spite or envy, please stop. Nothing is more hurtful than gossips that were spread just to destroy a reputation. And a word of advice to gossipers who don't really mean harm but just do it for lack of better things to do: before you start speading the "news" aka. gossips, please make sure you get your stories straight. You might think it's harmless but gossips that were based on wrong assumptions can hurt other people. Better yet, just get a life and mind your own darn business!

Liars/Hypocrites. I used to know an old lady who goes to church every Sunday and prays with tears in her eyes. Then, she goes out to the real world, abuse her maid and do business illegaly. Okay lady, do you honestly believe you'll be welcomed in heaven?

Then, there was a Catholic priest in my old town who preaches so beautifully. Outside of church however, he gambles, drinks and flirts with a lot of women. What the..??!!!

Cheaters. This is one of the worst offenses in my relationship book. To me, it's unforgivable and completely undeserving of a second chance. I had the misfortune to fall in love with one once, and it left a bitter taste in my mouth that took several years to get rid of. So to cheaters out there, why can't you just have the decency to break up with whoever you're with before dilly-dallying with someone else? The pain of betrayal is a hundred times worse than the pain of knowing the truth.

Know It All's. I've got news for you, Mr./Ms 'Perfect': there's no such thing as a perfect person and you can't possibly know everything in this world! Please be respectful of other people's opinions because it's not just yours that matters. People are all equal and you're no better than anybody. Treat others as equals. However smart you think you are, you can't be right all the time. In truth, the more open-minded you are, the smarter you get. Just saying!

Sorry, if I'm being bitchy today. I know I'm not perfect either and I'm trying not to be judgemental, but I do need to vent my frustrations with some people.

Let's Talk About Love

2009-02-12T07:57:00.007-05:00

In light of it being so close to Valentine's Day, I decided to join the bandwagon and talk about love. I actually had written a different (and a little sad) post but decided not to publish it right now, and instead re-publish the one I wrote a while back (with some minor changes), which many of you probably haven't seen yet.

I can’t help but smile whenever I see an old couple walking hand in hand.

Call me a hopeless romantic, but in this uncertain world where unstable relationships abound and break-ups are everyday occurrences, seeing an old, loving couple holding hands gives me hope. Hope that not all relationships are as fragile as they seem to be nowadays. Hope that some people can love each other forever and relationships can last a lifetime. Hope that even though relationships take hard work, love conquers all. And hope that I would be one of those few who have that one-of-a-kind LOVE that will stand the test of time.

I fell in love for the first time when I was 24 (I was a late bloomer. I dated before that, I just never fell in love). So in love (or so I thought, but it might just the novelty of first love) that when my relationship ended in betrayal of trust, I was devastated. I felt so hurt and betrayed that even after I started dating other guys, I found it hard to fall again. I was too scared of getting hurt that I kept every guy I dated at arm’s length. I became a serial dater who was too much of a coward to commit. At the first signs of complication, I’d break it off and ran away. In the midst of it all however, there was one guy who patiently guided me out of my shell and taught me to love and trust again. But love has a twisted sense of humor. Just as I was falling in love, life circumstances forced us to let go of the relationship turning me back into the slightly jaded woman I once were.

Then I met Fiance. I don’t know how or why but for the first time in my life, I felt that I could just throw caution in the wind and let loose. As cheesy as it sounds, I felt that I could fall and he’d catch me. The first time I met him, I knew it was going to be different. Don’t ask me why, I just knew and felt it. So I threw caution in the wind, let loose and fell in love. I never had any regrets. It was everything I hoped for. It made me realize that what I felt before him were puppy love(s). Our relationship had been mostly happiness. I won’t call it perfect, but it’s darn well near one. Although there are times when my ‘trust issues’ would resurface, he reassures me so well it becomes impossible not to have faith in our love. We do have petty arguments from time to time, but they never lasted more that 15 minutes. He’s one of the most wonderful guys I’ve ever known. I’ve never felt so loved and cared for. I don’t have a formula for creating a successful relationship, but I know that there would be that one person who makes you feel like you two fit each other like two peas in a pod, and things between you just feel right. That’s how I feel with Fiance.

A month from now, we’ll be taking the plunge into matrimonial bliss. I look forward to it without an ounce of fear (okay, maybe a little!), only with hope…

...hope that several years from now, we would be that old loving couple still walking hand in hand...

Thank You!

2009-02-10T19:08:00.010-05:00

I've been getting a number of awards lately, so I think it's high time I acknowledge all of them! Thank you so much, lovely people!!!

From Random Moments

From Sassy Britches

From Alice in Mindless Ramblings of a 26 Year Old

From A Balancing Act In Heels

Blogging has actually helped me in more ways than one. For someone who loves to analyze herself (sometimes overanalyze), and ponder about life and love, blogging has served as my outlet in expressing all my thoughts and emotions. It also quenched my thirst for a better understanding of human nature, and it has made me feel that I'm never alone in the things I go through. We might all have different stories and be in different stages of life, but the emotions and feelings that we go through are quite similar. That's why we can sympathize with other people's sufferings or share their joy as though we're part of it.

Blogging has also made me realize that we do live in a small world. It has connected us to people all around - people we don't know personally, yet feel connected to through their writings. Honestly, I feel like I've found friends... friends I haven't met, yet know by heart.

And so, I wanna say THANKS to all the bloggers who I feel I've built friendships with... by sharing each others thoughts and by exchanging comments (especially my top commenters!!!). I don't have to meet you to know that you're beautiful people inside! :-) Here's to you....

30

2009-02-09T10:52:00.004-05:00

Did you know that a kiss uses more than 30 facial muscles in humans, and requires significant muscle coordination? (No wonder some people are bad kissers!)

Did you know that a pig's orgasm can last for 30 minutes? (Lucky bas#t%r&s!)

Did you know that if an average man never trimmed his beard, it would grow to nearly 30 feet long in his lifetime? (I know one thing for sure... I wouldn't be dating somebody who'd agree to do this experiment!)

Did you know that a snail takes over 30 hours to crawl in one mile? (I wouldn't be surprised!)

Did you know that the oldest dog documented (an Australian cattle dog named Bluey) lived for nearly 30 years before he was finally put to sleep?

Did you know that more than 30% of people who come to your home parties snoop in your medicine cabinet? ( I'm part of the remaining 70%... at least most of the time!)

Did you know that a 30-second Superbowl commercial costs around $3 million dollars?

And finally...

Did you know that people say life begins at 30, so on the 30th of June this year, my life 'officially begins'? ;-)

The Unspoken Rules of Friendship

2009-02-06T12:01:00.007-05:00

Imagine yourself stranded on an island, like Tom Hanks in the movie Castaway, with no one to talk to and interact with. You might welcome the peace and serenity for a few days, but after a week of solitary existence, I'm sure you'll start to go crazy with loneliness and boredom!

As the old adage goes, no man is an island. You need someone to share your joys with, someone to lean on and care for, and someone to talk to. That someone doesn't need to be a person to fall in love with, just someone you can be friends with.

In my twenty nine years of existence in this world, I feel fortunate to have found friends who gave meaning to the real definition of the word. They were friends who acted as my cheering squad during competitions and after heartbreaks, my so-called 'accomplices in crimes', my psychologists who analyzes every aspect of my problems, and my supreme court who judges dates and potential boyfriends.

In short, they were friends who made my life easier and happier.

Although I always have lots of male friends, my friendships with women are the ones that stood the test of time. Guys aren't always great at keeping in touch, and friendship with men sometimes causes complications... complications like him falling for you or vice versa, having a jealous boyfriend who can't stand the thought of you being so close to a male friend, or him having a jealous girlfriend who can't stand the thought of you. That's not to say however, that I don't have long-lasting male friends. I do. Most guys are wonderful friends and I love hearing their perspectives on things.

Still, women understand and relate to each other better, and so make truly amazing friends! That doesn't mean though, that women friendships are always smooth sailing. I think one of the main ingredients in having successful ones is following some sort of unwritten girl laws.

These are the top five rules my girlfriends and I used to live by (now that we're all older and miles away from each other, the major rule just seems to be ... always keep in touch!). Feel free to add yours.

1. Be there when she needs you. Oftentimes, a girl friend just needs someone who will listen or a shoulder to cry on, so be one.

2. Accept her for everything she is. A true friendship is one where you should feel most comfortable being your real self.

3. Never compete or fight over a guy. It's not worth it. Boyfriends come and go, but true friends stick together though the end of time. (And that brings me to not neglecting your friends the minute you found a boyfriend!)

4. Never date your friend's ex. He might be an ex, but he's definitely off limits. How would you feel if your friend who knows most of the gory details of your past relationship dates the guy who's the main character of those stories? (Some people might not agree with me on this, but trust me, it's better!)

5. Be honest. I'm always an advocate of honesty, because I'd rather get hurt knowing the truth than feel like a fool later for being lied to. That basically includes telling me if you saw my boyfriend with another woman or if you caught him lying to me!

Friends are one of the greatest things in this world. As Edna Buchanan quoted, 'friends are family that WE CHOOSE for ourselves.' Enough said!

Taking Technology Too Far

2009-02-04T19:10:00.009-05:00

I have a confession to make... I have a love affair with my GPS! I've got a poor sense of direction and I get lost a lot, and so developed an undying love and devotion towards it.

But even if I hate being lost, it doesn't mean I always love to be found.

I was surfing the net last night when I saw an article in CNN about Google's new technology software. The downloadable application (called Latitude) allows cellphone users to share their whereabouts to friends and relatives, and let people track them anytime.

I don't know about you, but I'm not warming up to this idea at all. Sure, I can see its use for your grade school kids and suspected cheater husbands, but I don't see the point of tracking your friends or families' every single move! As much as I love hanging out with my friends and treasure moments with my fiance, I also love alone time. My 'me' time. Away from people, and enjoying privacy on my own. Now, why would I wanna ruin that by downloading a software on my phone that allows them to find me at times I don't wanna be found? Won't it be as easy to just tell people where I am when they call me? Actually, the beauty of cellular phones is that it gives you an option not to answer when you don't feel like it and don't wanna be disturbed. Why ruin it?

As someone who's in the field of science and technology, I find most technological advances utterly fascinating. There are times, however, when I have to say, this is taking it too far.

Lovely people, what's your take on this?

Wedding Plans in Pictures

2009-02-03T11:54:00.015-05:00

I know it's long been overdue, so today, I'm finally letting everybody take a peek at my wedding plans!!!

There's nothing I want more than to get married at the beach during sunset ...

wearing my dream dress...

then, dance and party the whole night long....

feasting on this cake (is it too obvious I love everything ocean inspired?)....

and tossing this bridal bouquet at the end of the night...

Then the next day, go off to the honeymoon of my dreams...

enjoying a wonderful, sunny life at White Beach, Boracay...

and exploring Palawan Underground River...

with my gorgeous new husband!

Here's hoping things turn out according to plans!

Of Rejection and Breaking Up

2009-02-02T08:46:00.009-05:00

A friend of mine called me the other day, asking for advice on how to break up with her boyfriend. Things between them are not working out the way she wanted, and she feels that she's not in love with him anymore. The guy however, is the ultimate definition of Mr. Nice and so she feels awful about breaking his heart.

I'm not a relationship guru, but my dating history has some of my friends teasingly dubbing me as the 'break-up expert'. After my first disastrous relationship, I developed a phobia of commitment, and so became a serial dater who run away at the slightest signs of complications. I went through a number of short-term relationships for a few years, until I met Fiance. Now, I'm making the ultimate form of commitment... marriage.

I'd admit that I do have some experiences, but even so, I don't think I've ever learned how to break up or reject a guy's advances without hurting his feelings. You can be brutally honest, or you can break it gently and lie about the real reason of why you don't wanna be with him, but either way, you still hurt him - his feelings or his pride.

Because the bottom line is... rejection sucks!

What I have learned though, is that guys take it in different ways.

There are guys who are man enough to accept your decision graciously without causing a scene or making a big deal out of it. They accept that rejection is a part of life, or that the two of you are not suited for each other (they're probably on the same page as you, you just beat them to it), and then move on with their lives.

There are guys however, who can't take rejection gracefully. Whenever that happens, it only strengthens my conviction that I was right in breaking up! I once dated a guy who, afer we broke up, started speading rumors on how crazy I was in bed, when in reality I never even slept with him! And then there was this guy who deleted me as his Facebook friend because I didn't wanna go out with him!

Over the course of years, I've come to the conclusion that it's usually better to take the honest road when breaking up with or saying No to somebody. It's better to say that you don't feel a connection between the two of you or other ACTUAL reasons why you had to break up, rather than go though the cliches of break-up lines made for the purpose of sparing his feelings. Trust me, guys can actually see through the 'it's not you, it's me' or the 'I don't think I'm ready to be in a relationship right now' lies (although in my case, those lines are probably true at that time)! Just be honest. A decent and confident man will respect you more for it.

Actually, I've learned my lesson about lying the hard way when, on a grocery store, I told a guy that I was new in town and didn't have a phone when he asked me for my number. God must have been watching and shaking his head because the moment I said that, my phone started ringing! (Talk about awkward!). I was trying to spare the guy's feelings but I guess, honesty is usually the best policy! (Or maybe I should have used a different excuse ;-) )

Rejection sucks, but it IS a part of life (for both men and women, and in relationship or other aspect of life!). As Bo Bennet said, 'rejection is nothing more than a necessary step in the pursuit of success.'

The Magic of Touch

2009-02-01T08:52:00.004-05:00

Fiance was reading leisurely in bed last night, and cuddle-lover that I am, took it as an excellent opportunity to do exactly that with him. He was lying on his back so I laid on my side next to him - with my head on his right shoulders and my arm hugging his muscular chest. He moved his right arm behind my back and hugged me tightly. We laid in that position for a few minutes, enjoying each other's warmth. At that moment, I remember feeling so relaxed, safe and totally stress-free.

I don't know about you, but I love cuddling. Love, love, love it! It takes all my worries away and it evokes a very secure and happy feeling inside of me.

Actually, I do love any form of touching. To me, the human touch is so amazing! I'm a hugger, a kisser, a hand-holder, a cuddler... get the drift? I just love touching! I find it the best way to express emotions. No words are needed, yet you strongly feel the emotion the other person conveys.

Whenever my Dad kisses me on the forehead, I can feel how much he cared about me and how proud he is of me. When my Mom hugs me in a tight embrace, I can feel how much she had missed me. Whenever my friends give me a hug and let me cry on their shoulders, I feel their whole-hearted support.

I know some people (especially guys) are not too keen on touching, so I feel fortunate to have found a guy who loves to cuddle and touch as much as I do. (Okay, maybe a little less than I do!). I hate to confess this, but we're the couple who would probably make other people sick with all our hugging and kissing, except that we don't normally indulge in public displays of affection (I'm not really used to it). In public, we usually just hold hands, which to me is more than enough, as I think of hand holding as one of the most romantic expressions of love! When we're relaxing at home though, we'd sit next to each other, him - stroking my hair, and me - rubbing his earlobes (he loves it - he said it soothes him). He would also ask me to scratch his back - even when it's not itching! (Weird I know, but, I guess that's what he has to settle for, since I'm not very good at massaging his back, ). Honestly, I love how Fiance seems to be the definition of a Manly Man to the outside world but when it comes to me, he's basically a Big Baby. (I'll get in trouble if he reads this!)

Anyway, to me, there's nothing more amazing than the magic of touch! Wait... is this a manifestation of neediness or just me being a loving person? ;-) Are there anybody else out there who's like me?

Change of Plans

2009-01-29T08:01:00.005-05:00

I don't mean to depress people with this post, but I have an absolute need to vent, so please bear with me!

When a major electric company, an industry that supplies one of the basic necessities of life, has decided to temporarily quit giving raises and bonuses to their employees and is talking about the possibility of laying a few people off, you know with certainty that the country's economy has gone down the drain.

I've been aware of this fact for a while now - after all my company has already laid off employees last month as an initial step to gradually closing the production plant and retaining only the Research and Development department in this location (fortunately, I'm an R&D chemist so my job is safe for the next few years)- but hearing Fiance's news yesterday jolted me from my optimistic reverie and self-enforced denial that things in this country are not that bad. Fiance's not in any danger of losing his job (that's what the company says, but who knows for sure, right?), but his news has shaken me to the core. I've always been a news junkie, but lately, watching it saddens me that I decided to limit myself to positive news as much as possible. Now however, I'm forced to face reality, and with it comes a change of plan.

Fiance and I have decided that we'll just go to a courthouse to get married, forgo the other wedding ceremony here in US, and just stick with our originally planned beach wedding and honeymoon in my country (remember our supposedly two wedding ceremonies plan?). It's better to be safe than sorry, and we'd rather save the money for our dream house and future family, in case the economy takes a lot more years to get back up.

I have mixed feelings about this. As I've said before, I honestly don't care too much about wedding preparations -I realized one is stressful enough, can you imagine two?- so I'm somewhat relieved. On the other hand, I know how much Fiance's family is looking forward to our wedding, and it saddens me to think that they can't be a part of it any longer. (His Mom has a condition and can't travel on a plane for several hours, so they can't come to the other wedding). But, Fiance and I have to do what's best for us and for our future. The things happening right now are extremely daunting, so the logical course of action is to do the more practical thing.

That said, we've decided to move our civil wedding earlier to March 21, the weekend before we move in and officially start our lives together.

Childhood Memories

2009-01-27T21:31:00.005-05:00

Whenever I see young kids wearing make-up and trying so hard to pretend like adults, I can't help but shake my head and give an unsolicited advice, "Don't be in such a hurry to grow up. Enjoy one of the best chapters of your life."

I used to be one of those kids. Even though my life was a bliss not worrying about anything except getting good grades and having fun with friends, I couldn't wait to grow up. I couldn't wait to be independent, graduate from school and get a good job. I couldn't wait to be a woman, go out on dates and be with the man of my dreams. I keep rushing to grow older, dying to find out what the world has in store for me.

Now, whenever I feel the heavy demands of my job, get copies of my utility bills and car payments, argue with the man of my dreams, I can't help but long for my simple, stress-free childhood life. There are times when I miss the naivety and innocence in how I used to look at the world, and the excitement that comes so easily over oh-so-simple things. I can still remember how easy it was for me to feel excited over Christmas days, family outings or birthdays! Honestly, I haven't felt that can't-sleep-coz-I-can't-wait excitement that I used to feel when I was a kid, in a really long time. I am a happy and optimistic person most of the time, but there are days when I wish I could still feel the highs of excitement whenever new things or wonderful events come my way. I guess as we grow older, we become consumed with everyday living that we forget to smell the flowers and take in the simple pleasures of life.

Simple pleasures... such as enjoying each present moment and not trying to hang on to childhood memories!

It's funny how, when we were kids, we couldn't wait to grow up, and when we finally do, we long for those simpler early days!

I blame my sister and my grade school bestfriend for my current nostalgic mood.

Understanding Women

2009-01-21T11:45:00.029-05:00

I was listening to an FM radio station on my way to work this morning, when I heard the DJ express perplexity over women's behaviors. His wife's Glamour magazine arrived, and he, thinking it was a sweet gesture, encircled pictures of dresses that he thought would look good on her. When the wife got home and saw what he did, she got upset and started yelling, " What's wrong with the way I dress? You don't think I look good in the clothes I wear?"

I started laughing when I heard it, but then realized I'm also guilty of acting that way sometimes! Although I think of myself as a rational and logical person (at least most of the time, and at work or I'll get fired), there are instances when emotions rule my actions, and logic goes out the window. Especially, when dealing with Fiance (Aahh, the things love do to women!). And most especially... during that time of the month!

Case in point...

Him: Babe, can I call you back in a few minutes?
Me: Why?
Him: I'm in the middle of my P90X workout.
Me (upset): Fine! Bye!
Him: Talk to you later, I love you, babe!

30 minutes later, my phone rings ...

Me: So, are you done with your oh-so-precious workout and had finally found the time to talk to me?

Another scenario...

Me: Honey, did you make something for dinner tonight?
Him: I just got out of the gym.
Me: But you got the whole day off, and you knew I'm coming over!
Him: Well, there's still a lot of time. I'll make us some. Do you want chicken or fish?
Me: Never mind.
Him: No, seriously, I'm going to make us dinner.
Me (pouting): No, don't worry anymore. You would have done it earlier if you really wanted to.

Well, today that I'm rational, I can understand why most men (and Fiance for that matter) find women (myself included) to be complex creatures. We have a tendency to overreact and say something else when we mean another! Unlike men, a lot of women's decisions and ideas are governed by emotions. Our minds and hearts are not always in sync, and we let our hearts rule even at times when we know better! (Add hormones to the equation, and we become a mess!)

Deep down though, it all boils down to one thing: we know our men care but we want them to show that they care... by doing things without us asking, and by paying attention to the little details about us.

Jennifer Aniston spoke for a lot of women when she told Vince Vaughn in the movie Break-Up, "I want you to WANT to do the dishes [not because I asked you to]".

Because as illogical as it sounds, that's how it feels that he cares.

And because, as women, that's what we'd do for the men we love.

My Solemn Vow

2009-01-19T07:43:00.012-05:00

Warning: this post is going to be mushy and sentimental, so if you're not that kind of person, you can turn around now. (",)

For our wedding ceremony, Fiance and I have decided to say our own vows. So far, this is what I've came up with. It's still a work in progress, so suggestions are welcome!

"Honey, I love you very much. You're my partner, my lover and my bestfriend. I love you as I've never loved anybody in my life before. I will be honest and say that I can't promise that I will always be in a good mood, that all our days will be sunny and wonderful, or that our life together will be perfect. There will be days when you'll be irritated or mad at me for the things I will or will not do, and I'm sure, vice versa.

But I promise you this. Whatever you and I will go through - good or bad - I will always love you, and will never leave you. I promise that I will give you the respect you deserve, be there when you need me, and cherish and love you till our dying days.

On this day, as I take you to be my husband, I promise to walk every step of the journey with you . On this day, in front of our family and friends, I promise you, all of me.

This is my solemn vow. "